The Once and Future King
by AthosAtTanagra
Summary: Inconsolable after the journey to Avalon, in the wake of the battle of Camlann, Merlin stumbles upon the chance to go back and change the past. Will he make the same mistakes or will he set the future right and see a free Camelot at Arthur's side? (5th season spoiler alert) This story picks up at the end of the series finale.
1. Chapter 1

The boat carrying Arthur's lifeless body floated softly towards the island of Avalon, and Merlin's chest was filled by an aching emptiness. His head pounded from crying and his mouth was dry. The Dragon's words, meant to comfort him, had cut him like a knife, filling him with regret and anguish. Arthur was gone. They'd never shared that longed for future where magic was once again free. Kilgharrah had said his destiny was fulfilled, and yet all Merlin felt was the bitter taste of failure.

Arthur was gone.

The rain pattered down softly, making the surface of the lake ripple in a million moving circles. Merlin lay on the shore on his knees, watching the mist envelop and conceal the boat that bore Arthur. Hot tears spilled on his cold cheeks mingling with the rain. He didn't feel the chill. Arthur was gone.

Darkness descended on the valley, and still Merlin watched. The rain continued through the night. Thoughts came to him, of the last two days spent with Arthur, the words he'd said to him, the truth finally out between them. How precious, how sweet Arthur's words had been. He bent down at the waist, weighed with regret and that great emptiness carved into his chest.

Arthur was gone.

Morning came and Merlin felt for the first time the chill that went down to the bone, and the ache in his body like needles. He was worn out and heart broken and he couldn't find the strength to move or to seek shelter.

Towards dusk he heard hoof beats approach. Familiar voices called out to him and he was surrounded, wrapped in blankets and brought up to his feet. He recognized Leon and Percival's faces close beside him. How did they find him, he wondered?

"Gaius sent us," Leon answered his unspoken question. "Where is Arthur?"

"Arthur is dead," Merlin told them, his voice dull.

The knights bowed their heads in grief.

"Gaius warned us," Leon said, "but I had held out hope. His body?"

Merlin glanced towards the lake and following his gaze, Leon understood. He stood with the others on the shore, giving their King one last salute.

"You are chilled to the bone. Let us go home, Merlin. To Camelot."

The words sliced into Merlin's heart. Camelot. Arthur's memory would be there in every corner, in every hallway, every step and every room. He squeezed his eyes shut and shook his head, resisting the supporting arms that held him.

"No," he bit out, the word raw in his throat. "No." The knights paused, uncertain. "I cannot go back." When they resisted, he pushed harder. They stepped away from him looking weary and sad.

"Tell Gaius," Merlin said weakly. "Tell Gaius that I am sorry." His voice broke and he turned and walked away from Leon and Percival. He felt the warmth of the blanket leave him as it fell to the ground. He didn't stop to pick it up.

"Merlin!" Leon called out behind him, but he kept going, pushing his way through thicket and brambles, not knowing where he went and not caring. There was nowhere for him. He could not face Camelot. Arthur was gone.

...

Merlin came to in the silence of a low wooden hut. Streaks of sunlight spilled from cracks in the walls and in them danced small particles of dust made golden by the sun. Merlin stared at them, his mind a blissful numbness. His body ached in a million places, but his mind was quiet, at rest.

Ever so slowly, his memories of the previous days returned, and with them, in a flash, the agonizing emptiness in his chest at Arthur's loss.

The sound of shuffling feet broke through and Merlin startled when a wet, cool cloth touched his face. He put a hand out defensively, opened his eyes and came face to face with a woman, bowed over his bed, her face disfigured by a web of scars, some white and some angry red. She would have been frightening, except that her eyes were warm amber brown and kind. He let his hand drop away.

"I found you in the forest," the woman said, and her voice was raspy and harsh. "I thought you were dead." She brought a bowl of broth and took up a spoon to feed him but Merlin turned his face to the wall. After a while he heard her sigh.

"I don't know what your story is," she said, "but I fought for my life even when it was close to worthless. I must have been mistaken when I thought you were a fighter."

He turned to look at her feeling ashamed. Her eyes were hard, but not unkind. With great effort he raised himself up on his elbows and leaned back against the wall. He held out a shaky hand for the bowl, and she passed it to him with a nod.

...

Days passed and Merlin got stronger. During the day, his host left to forage and hunt, and in the evenings she worked in the hut, cooking food and drying herbs. Merlin watched her work. She reminded him of Gaius. It was hard to tell her age. The scars and the heavy, crooked way she moved, gave the impression of age and infirmity, but the parts of her face and hands that were not covered in scars held no signs of old age, no wrinkles or spots.

"What happened to you?" he asked her one evening. His voice sounded foreign to himself, raw and harsh in the quiet of the hut.

She turned to him, and her mouth drew tight.

"Some magic and some old fashioned torture," she answered grimly. She looked away. "Some people need to overpower others in order to feel that they are not so small."

She hobbled to the kettle above the fire and stirred in some herbs.

"You have magic?" he asked her.

"I wish that I had. I might have been able to defend myself."

"But you know herb lore," Merlin said, pointing to her work table and the little neatly labeled bottles that lay there.

"My mother taught me, while she lived," she said with a smile, and Merlin thought he saw a glimpse of what she must have looked like before. "She hid her skill from people. It was too easy to be accused of witchcraft if you knew herb lore, even if you had no magic at all."

"What is your name?" he asked, feeling odd for not asking her sooner.

"They used to call me Bri," she answered quietly resuming her work.

"And yours?"

"Merlin."

"What is your story, Merlin?"

"I had a friend and now he's dead," Merlin whispered.

Slowly, the whole story spilled out of him like poison from a wound.

"I know that the dragon said I had fulfilled my destiny, but it all feels wrong. It was too soon. Albion and all its promise of freedom and equality have not been accomplished yet." He looked down at his hands as he clasped them in his lap. "The world that Arthur's reign promised hasn't come to pass. And I had so little time with him."

"You built your whole life around him," she said quietly and Merlin knew that whether he had been wise or not, she spoke the truth. He had held on to Arthur so tight.

"Your magic must be great indeed."

"What use is it to me now?" he asked bitterly.

"When I was a child, my mother told me of a place, a lost place in the Grey Mountains. A crater where there rains grew a lake and no man had set foot on its steep shore. It was a place where dragons went to drink and gain the sight of the ages past and ages to come. It was a place where the hinges of time were loose, and the story goes that if a man could make his way there, he could slip into time where the lake waters took him. If he held power, he could decide his own road."

She paused to look at Merlin. "Perhaps you hold that power."

"A time portal," he whispered entranced. For the first time in the last weeks since the battle of Camlann, Merlin felt a shiver of hope rush down his back.

"It's likely only a bedtime story," she replied cautiously.

"But you don't think so."

"Many things my mother told me of that I thought were fairy tales turned out to be as real as you or I. Why not this?"

"I will find it," Merlin said and suddenly knew it to be true.

"I will help you," she said, her face brightening. Under the scars and burns, Merlin thought he could see again a glimpse of her true face. "And perhaps if you succeed, you will also help me."

* * *

**AN: And off we go! **


	2. Chapter 2

Late summer had given way to the chilly nights of autumn, and when at long last Merlin stood on the edge of the cauldron lake, gazing at the midnight black water, he felt its magic tingle in his fingertips.

"You were right," he whispered to Bri. She was lying down, tired and weary. Her twisted, crippled body took the journey ill. She'd been suffering silently for days, even though she would not admit it, and would not hear of turning back. Merlin took to cooking and caring for her as the journey neared the end, for her strength was leaving her.

"When will you try it," she asked weakly.

"At dawn," Merlin replied. "I need to rest."

He made a fire and they ate a little.

"I wish you hadn't been so stubborn, Bri," Merlin told her when they sat quietly staring at the flames, and the moon had come up above them in the sky. "How will you get back down on your own?"

"I wasn't planning to," she answered and Merlin felt a chill run down his spine.

"Bri," he started but she cut him off.

"No Merlin, listen to me. On the Belvin plains, on the far border of Odin's land, there is a high tower. In it lives a man who makes his living by selling slaves. He captures those he sells, and occasionally keeps some for himself." Her voice faltered. Eventually she went on, the words heavy and hard. "He keeps them in a dungeon beneath the tower and makes sport of their pain. He yields his tools himself, often until he is standing in blood and it stains his hands to his elbows. It makes him feel powerful. Alive."

"Bri," Merlin whispered, unable to listen further. He rose from his seat across her and knelt beside her.

"I spent two months in his hands, Merlin," she whispered harshly. "What I was before and what I am now barely resemble the other. My life now, it's barely a shadow. Should you make it back in time, promise me you'll seek out and destroy this tower." She took his hand in hers and looked fiercely in his eyes. "Promise me, Merlin."

"I swear it," he whispered.

Her breath shuddered and her whole frame shook.

"I crawled through three days of darkness to escape him," she went on, the fight gone from her voice. "I lay in a crevice in a cave for weeks until I could walk, and begged for food at the side of the road, and children cried in fear when they beheld me."

Merlin wrapped his arms around her and held her. He held her until he felt her deep, even breaths and she fell asleep.

Dawn came, bright and cold, and leaving Bri still asleep, Merlin walked into the cauldron pool. He felt magic swirl around him. He thought of all of the mistakes he had made with Arthur, all that times he'd tried to thwart destiny while only bringing it on sooner. He prayed silently for wisdom and for a second chance. The waters rose around him in the sunlight like a funnel of light and in the blink of an eye, Merlin was gone.

...

Images swirled before Merlin's eyes, bright blinding light and faces. Kilgharrah's scaly visage as he mouthed the words "this is your destiny", Bri's scarred face, her soft soothing whispers and then in a hard voice "promise me, Merlin, promise me". He saw Gwen crowned Queen, Gaius smiling, "well done, Merlin", Morgana's face filled with fury, Mordred as he looked in the vision in the druid cave, Lancelot's whispered "thank you, Merlin" on his funeral barge, Freya's tearful "I will repay you one day", Uther's grim face in his ghostly form, and finally Arthur. Arthur in his chainmail walking out to spar, Arthur looking out of his window over the castle courtyard, Arthur crowned, sitting on the throne, Arthur wounded and dying saying "I don't want you to change".

Great sadness and love grew in Merlin's chest as the images swirled before him, until it was painful to breathe.

"What do you want, young Warlock?" the waters asked him. "What do you want?" the faces asked.

"Another chance," Merlin replied.

"Why should we give it you? Your destiny's fulfilled. The story is complete."

"No!" shouted Merlin. "It wasn't fulfilled. I failed, and Arthur is dead before he could set magic free."

"Perhaps you were destined to fail," the waters said with Arthur's voice. "You cannot save me. You cannot change my destiny."

"But I could have given you more time," Merlin replied and felt tears fall on his cold cheeks. "We could have had more time. Please!" he shouted. "Give me another chance. Give me a chance to see a free Camelot for all by Arthur's side."

"Is that what you want?" the voices whispered. "What you want?" they echoed. "When you change the past, nothing will be as before. You may lose more than you would gain. Are you prepared to take that risk?"

"I am. I am prepared."

"You play a dangerous game, Merlin," said the waters in Gaius' voice. "Are you sure this is the right thing to do?"

"I must do this. Please."

"You may lose much more than you would gain, Emrys," came the vicious voice of Morgana followed by a peal of laughter, and Merlin felt of shudder of fear.

"I must. Please. Give me another chance."

The waters swirled gold and blue and the faces disappeared.

"One chance," the fading voices said. "Only one chance. One. Do you understand?"

"Yes," Merlin said, swallowing hard.

"When do you want to go?" a voice asked, and Merlin recognized it as Balinor's.

He'd agonized over the answer to this question every day since Bri had mentioned the cauldron lake and its powers. He knew _when_ but he also feared he'd been leaving it too late to change anything. But he'd made up his mind and picturing the time and place in his mind, he pushed that out to the waters around him.

Balinor nodded without looking pleased or disapproving. The light bled out of the swirling waters until it was dark like a sky filled with moving stars all around Merlin. He closed his eyes and felt his spirit rise above his body, light and free, then sink again to merge.

He blinked.

There was darkness all around him. Ahead he could see three hooded figures, their faces hidden, each holding a wooden staff with a sharpened tip. He stood inside the cave of the Disir, and beside him were Arthur and his men. He felt disoriented, unbalanced. He reached a hand to the wall behind him to steady himself. Memories of past and future things swirled around in his head. He heard Arthur speak.

Arthur. Arthur's voice. Arthur was alive.


	3. Chapter 3

_Arthur. Arthur's voice. Arthur was alive._

Merlin's heart beat wildly in his chest, joy cursed through his veins like quicksilver. He'd done it. He'd gone back.

Even just this was enough. If he could freeze time in this moment and hold it here, with Arthur alive and Merlin by his side, he would have been content. He slowed his breathing, hearing his own heartbeat, and held on to the moment.

But time slipped on.

"You are arrogant and rash, and your doom is at hand unless you heed our warning, and cease persecuting those that follow the old religion," one of the Disir spoke, her face half covered under the cowl of her cloak.

"You will not speak like this to the King!" Sir Gwaine spat stepping forward.

Words of warning rose in Merlin's throat, but one of the Disir waved her hand and Gwaine was tossed backwards against the cave wall. The knights drew their swords.

The Disir's staff flew towards Arthur and Mordred caught it in the chest as he threw himself forward to protect his king. The knights retreated with a clatter of armour and swords, and Merlin, left behind, deflected the second flying spear aimed towards Arthur's back.

A flash of silver glinted from under the Disir's hood, and Merlin locked eyes with her for a brief moment.

"Nothing will change, Emrys, if Arthur does not submit to this court's judgment," came the Disir's warning.

…

The ride to Camelot was grim and tense, just as it had been the first time around. Merlin's head swam with possibilities and dead ends. So far, nothing had changed. They were plummeting arrogantly and unknowingly to their downfall once more.

Once inside the stone walls of Camelot, Arthur and the others made quick work of bringing Mordred to Gaius' chambers. Merlin, under the dragon's warning, and doubly now under his knowledge of the future stood well away as the discussion over the magic wound progressed. And in due time, Arthur, consistent in his resolve to move heaven and earth for his men, informed Merlin of his decision to ride back to the Disir and beg their help.

Hours before dawn when they were due to depart, Merlin made his way down the silent corridors to Gwaine's room. He rapped on the door until he heard a reluctant "Enter."

"What is it, Merlin?" Gwaine asked, jumping right out of his bed. "Is it Mordred?"

"No, no, he hasn't changed," Merlin began. "Look, Gwaine, there's something I need you to do."

Gwaine raised an eyebrow.

"There is a tower on the Belvin plain on the far edge of Odin's land …" Merlin began.

…

Arthur and Merlin rode in silence, and Merlin remembered the doubts that had consumed him on this trip the first time around. Mordred's life, Arthur's future, it all hung in the balance. He'd made a bitter mistake the first time around by turning his back on magic in order to insure Mordred's death, and had paid for it dearly. The closer they rode, the more he felt the drawing near of destiny, like a noose around his neck. He'd chosen this moment to come back to, but now he feared he had left it much too late. He should have gone back further, given Arthur and himself more of a chance, a chance to right more wrongs than this. Perhaps then, the Disir's judgment would have never happened.

"You're awfully quiet. You're not going to badger me about risking my life for one man?" Arthur asked breaking the silence. "It's not like you."

Merlin gave him a sideways look. He _had _badgered Arthur about it the first time around. But it didn't matter now. He had no words and Arthur, weighed down with dark thoughts of his own, didn't press him.

Their interview with the Disir went as he remembered it. The choice between magic and doom was laid at Arthur's feet. Later around their campfire, Arthur and Merlin came again to the fateful conversation that Merlin looked back on as his biggest mistake.

"What do you think I should do?" Arthur asked him.

Time stood still. In that strange place where everything felt more alive, the very air vibrating around him like the earth's living heart, Merlin drew in a breath, hearing his own heartbeat, and Arthur's, and the pulse of the future meet in that moment like a node of history.

"You must think of Camelot's future, Arthur," Merlin said, and this time around the words came from his heart. He poured into them all his pent up longing for the future Arthur's reign promised. "You believe in freedom for all people. Why not also those that have magic? Magic in itself isn't evil. It is only a tool. If their magic is used for good, people deserve the right to practice freely. They deserve to be accepted for who they are and not live in fear and hiding."

"You think there are those that live this way?" Arthur asked.

"I know it."

"How do you know such things?"

Merlin hesitated. "From Gaius," he said evasively.

He fell silent. Arthur watched him in earnest then sat looking at the flames deep in thought.

"If I do this, Merlin, I am afraid of unleashing a power that is beyond me to control."

"You're not alone, Arthur. You have friends and allies who will help you."

"Witches and sorcerers? Would they forgive and forget and swear allegiance to a Camelot that's persecuted them?" Arthur broke a twig and threw it on the fire. The sparks flew up into the dark canopy around them.

"They would swear allegiance to _you_, Arthur," Merlin said softly. "You are a good king."

Arthur fell silent.

Merlin felt the anxiety flutter and grow in his chest. The fate of the future hung in the balance, fragile like moth's wings. The night grew dark and silent and the hours passed and Arthur and Merlin sat awake, each caught in their own thoughts and fears and Arthur spoke no more until it was morning and they stepped back into the Disir's cave.

"Choose your words well, Arthur Pendragon, for your doom is close at hand," the Disir spoke.

"I believe in a free Camelot," Arthur started, "A free Camelot for all. And that includes those that follow the old religion." He paused and Merlin drew in a shuddering breath. "I accept your judgment."

"Do you promise to stop persecuting those that practice the old religion?" one of the Disir asked.

"I promise it. If their magic is not used to harm others or for evil purposes, they shall be free to use it."

"Do you promise to make magic once again lawful in the land of Camelot?" the second Disir asked.

"I promise it."

The words sent shivers down Merlin's spine. He'd never thought he'd hear Arthur speak them.

"Do you promise to bow yourself before the Triple Goddess?"

Arthur hesitated. "That, I cannot promise. It is not a belief I share."

The third Disir hissed her displeasure.

"You are still arrogant Arthur Pendragon, without knowledge of your own smallness."

"It is all I can offer," Arthur said, his words heavy and final.

"You have _nothing_ to offer, Pendragon," the Disir spoke, "and everything to lose." Their anger was once again rising.

Merlin reached across and put a hand on Arthur's shoulder. He met his gaze to plead with him but realized full well that Arthur would not bend to this last request. He had already conceded much. He could not go further.

"Great Disir," Merlin said stepping forward. "Your judgment is fair, and your anger righteous. I ask you to give the king a second chance."

"Merlin! Be quiet." Arthur protested, trying to pull Merlin back.

"No, Arthur, let me speak." He turned again to the Disir. "You passed judgment on a man who was willing to listen. He cares more for his people than he does himself. I have seen it every day. I believe that he will deal justly with those with magic, just as he does with his other subjects. You have heard his promise. Please give him the chance to prove it. I pledge my own life that he will not fail."

Arthur stared at him wide eyed.

The Disir grew quiet. Their bodies were still visible in the cave, yet their presence seemed to depart. Merlin's heart almost stopped beating. He had lost. He had failed to convince them, failed to redeem Arthur's fate and now he would have to watch Arthur die all over again.

Suddenly, the presence of the Disir returned. Merlin took a step back.

"The Triple Goddess has spoken," they said in unison, their voices filling the cave, bouncing off the walls and magnifying. "Your doom will not be lifted. The blood that is on your hands cannot be cleansed Arthur Pendragon. You refuse to bow to the Goddess."

Merlin closed his eyes, feeling the walls spin around him. He had failed.


	4. Chapter 4

_Merlin closed his eyes, feeling the walls spin around him. He had failed. _

"But we will hold you to your promises," the Disir continued with one voice.

"What does that mean?" Merlin cried.

"Fulfill the promises you made us, Arthur Pendragon," the Disir chanted and then spoke no more.

Stunned, Arthur and Merlin walked out of the cave into blinding sunlight. They rode back to Camelot silent and weary.

"You didn't have to speak for me, Merlin."

"I had to! I believe in you!" Merlin replied, his words coming out more like an accusation rather than acclaim. Arthur watched him thoughtfully. Merlin swiped angrily at the tears on his cheeks and refused to look at Arthur.

"Have I made a mistake, Merlin?"

Merlin gave him an inscrutable look. He shook his head. "I don't, Arthur. I don't know."

They reached the castle in the warm, golden light of the evening. As their horses' hoof beats sounded in the courtyard, Mordred came running down the steps to greet his king and Merlin watched him and swallowed his own failure once more. He had not changed the past, nor the future. Mordred lived to serve Arthur's doom. The Disir's judgment stood.

As Arthur and Mordred embraced, Gwaine came running towards them. He was dusty and dirty as if just returned from a journey.

"Merlin," he shouted, getting Arthur and Mordred's attention. "I have found the tower." He looked between Merlin and Arthur, his eyebrows drawn together and his mouth a tight line. "I found it and it was hell itself."

...

On the pallet where Mordred had lain in Gaius' rooms, lay sleeping a young woman. Arthur and Merlin and Gwaine and Guinevere stood around her. She was pale, her long hair, the colour of dark amber was roughly braided to one side. Gaius pressed a finger to his lips.

"She needs to rest, Sire."

"The man who ruled the tower is dead," Gwaine had told them. "I killed him myself after seeing his 'collection'." Gwaine shuddered and Gwen drew close to Arthur. "Percival and I released all the slaves. But in the caves beneath the tower, we found bodies that had been tortured, mutilated beyond recognition. There was one still alive who begged for death." Gwaine paused, a haunted look in his eyes.

"And the girl?" Guinevere asked.

"Her name is Bri. She hadn't been there long," Gwaine said, shaking his head. "A few days at most. He hadn't done her any harm yet, but if we'd been a few days later..." he trailed off and shuddered again, his face fierce. "If Merlin hadn't told me about it..."

Arthur frowned at Merlin.

"How did you know about this tower?"

"An old woman, uh, a traveler told me."

"What matters is that the tower is destroyed and she's safe," Gwen said, laying her hand on Merlin's forearm. "Had she no family to go back to?" she asked Gwaine.

He shook his head. "Her captor had killed her family, and razed her keep to the ground. She had nowhere to go."

"I will let you know when she awakes, Sire," Gaius told them and gently ushered them out of the room. He turned to find Merlin still sanding looking down at the girl.

"I can't believe it's her, Gaius," Merlin whispered. "Night and day. She was so much younger than I ever imagined."

Gaius frowned. "What are you talking about, Merlin."

Merlin looked up and met his gaze.

"Oh, Gaius! There's so much I need to tell you."

"Can it wait until we've had our dinner?"

Merlin smiled, but his eyes were sad.

"There's not much hurry. Not any longer."

The fire danced in the grate late into the night, making shadows on the walls. Merlin told Gaius the long story of his future and past. Gaius listened wide eyed, without commentary, and patted his hand when the telling brought tears again to Merlin's eyes.

"So Mordred _did _turn on Arthur," Gaius reflected. "I wouldn't have believed it."

"He had reason to, Gaius," Merlin replied bitterly.

"You've traveled a weary road, Merlin. It can't have been easy."

"I had one chance, Gaius, one chance to fix it all, and I messed it up. I will not get another." Merlin put his head down into his hands.

"Merlin, how many times have I told you that there are many possible futures and no one can know for sure what they each hold? One thing I know for sure, the path you are on now, will be different than the one you've walked already. You could not bring that back, even if you tried."

"But what will it lead to? Arthur's death all over again?"

"Not with what you now know. Not while you draw breath." He put a hand on Merlin's shoulder. "Get some rest, Merlin. You will see it all clearer in the morning."

The girl moved restlessly on the pallet.

"I'll watch over her," Gaius said. "Get some rest."

...

Moonlight streamed through the window and Merlin lay awake in his bed. He was back in Camelot, Arthur was alive, and he'd bought himself some more time, even though he hadn't managed to lift the doom the Disir had foretold.

He should have felt joyful for at least getting a few more months at Arthur's side, but the joy was bittersweet. Months ago he'd hardly imagined his life without Arthur. Now it stretched ahead of him, long and empty. He was home, surrounded by his friends who were also his family and he'd never felt so alone. The knowledge he held was a bitter and empty cup.

He threw his legs over the side of the bed and resting his elbows on his knees he buried his head in his hands.

The main room was dark except the light from the fire. Gaius was asleep on his own bed and on the pallet by the fire, lay sleeping an unbroken version of the Bri he'd known. Merlin sat in the chair beside her bed and watched her. She was his only link to the other side, to the future he had fled. If he'd failed everything else, he hadn't failed her.

As if feeling his gaze on her, her eyes opened slowly and met Merlin's. They were the same warm amber Merlin remembered and he smiled at her and touched his hand gently to her pale cheek before realizing it was a mistake.

Fear filled her eyes and she jumped up and away from him. Desperate to get away, she fell of the bed and skidded across the floor in a clatter of falling furniture and jars. Gaius sat straight up in his bed.

"I'm not going to hurt you," Merlin said holding his hands out, but that didn't stop her. She stumbled about in the dark, until her back came up against the far wall.

"Merlin, you fool, what did you do now?" Gaius bellowed from his bed.

"Don't be scared," Merlin tried a second time, but Bri was watching him distrustfully and wouldn't settle down until Gaius came to her and sent Merlin away.

Lying on his bed, wide awake, Merlin thought it would have been impossible to feel worse, and now he'd proven himself wrong.

…

"Why so funereal, Merlin," Arthur teased him the following morning. "You're like a drowned rat sulking around." They were in Arthur and Gwen's rooms, and Merlin had brought in Arthur's breakfast and was now opening the curtains. Gwen had slipped out early while Arthur was still in bed. It felt so much like old times that Merlin could barely speak.

"If I was a drowned rat, I couldn't very well sulk around, could I?" Merlin attempted, but his heart was not in it. "I'd be dead."

"What is wrong with you?"

"Nothing."

He felt conscious of Arthur's gaze, but kept his attention on his chores. It broke his heart even now to be at Arthur's side, knowing that he'd still lose him.

"You were a bad servant to begin with," Arthur continued, "but now you're also dull. I'm not sure why I keep you?"

"I'm not sure either," Merlin mumbled.

"For goodness' sake, Merlin, get out! You're depressing me."

"Yes, Sire."

He walked away, feeling guilty for having made Arthur worry. For the life of him he could not bring himself to act the part he was supposed to.

"Merlin!" Arthur shouted behind him.

"Yes, sire?"

"If you're going to be a dull drowned rat, you might as well make yourself useful. Go make sure Guinevere's preparations are in order. She and Elyan will be journeying to their father's grave this morning."

Merlin's heart did a somersault. He was instantly on alert. They could not be allowed to go. Guinevere, captured by Morgana and kept in the Dark Tower under the power of the mandrake root, and turned against Arthur, had been a hard trial the first time around. He could prevent this. He had to try.

"Arthur, they must not go," he said and his voice was dead earnest.

Arthur was taken aback by the sudden change in his manner.

"Why ever not?"

"Please, Arthur, if you ever trusted me, trust me on this. They must not go. It's too dangerous. Morgana is too close to Camelot."

"Always afraid of your own shadow, Merlin..."

"Arthur," Merlin shouted, "for once in your life, please listen to me!" Arthur's eyebrows rose halfway up his forehead, but he stayed silent. "I don't say this because I'm an idiot or a coward, you know me better than that. I cannot explain it. I just... Please! Don't let them go."

In the silence that followed Merlin could hear his own heartbeat. He'd gone too far.


	5. Chapter 5

_In the silence that followed Merlin could hear his own heartbeat. He'd gone too far._ Arthur would be angry and punish him for the rest of the day for having overstepped himself. He'd have to sneak out and follow Guinevere himself.

Arthur was still watching him with a mixture of incredulity and shock. When he finally spoke, it was quietly and surprising.

"Very well, Merlin. For whatever reason, I do trust you."

"You do?"

"Yes, you dolt. And I listen to you more than you care to remember. Although I am not quite sure why!"

They stared at each other across the room, and a thousand thoughts went through Merlin's mind. Perhaps he'd been wrong not to tell Arthur more along the way. Perhaps Arthur would have come through, but he'd never given him the chance. He'd hidden everything from him to protect him. It had been wrong. Maybe _this_ and not the Disir had been his biggest mistake.

"I wish I knew what was going on in that head of yours, Merlin," Arthur said wistfully. "I can see the wheels turning. Rusty little wheels, that is."

"Arthur," Merlin began, "there is something that I ..."

The door opened and Guinevere walked in.

"All is ready for the journey, Arthur," she said. "We should be back by midday." She came close to give Arthur a parting kiss and Merlin turned tactfully away.

"About that, Guinevere," Arthur began, and Merlin excused himself and slipped out. He trusted Arthur to convince Guinevere once his own mind was made up.

Deep in thought, Merlin walked across the courtyard with long strides. Ahead of him stood a group of knights and their horses, Guinevere's escort. He looked up at them and noticed Bri was there, talking quietly with Gwaine. She was dressed in one of Gwen's old dresses, the colour of wheat, and her hair was braided up around her head, shining in the sun like molten amber. She was still pale and quiet but then Gwaine said something and Bri's face broke into a smile.

Gwaine noticed Merlin and shouted a greeting.

Still fascinated by the smile on Bri's face, Merlin barely felt his boot catch the raised edge of one of the paving stones until he went sprawling forward. He heard the knights' shouts of laughter.

Merlin had put up with the knights' teasing. He was used to it. But right now, it felt like injustice heaped on top of injury. He didn't need anyone else to make him feel more like a clumsy idiot than he currently thought himself.

Bri looked at him as he lay on the ground, and her face reflected nothing, no concern or amusement. At least she wasn't laughing at him, but Merlin still felt like an insect under a magnifying lens. Her eyes held none of the warmth or kindness he'd seen in them when she'd nursed him after Arthur's death. He had hoped that perhaps if he looked closely enough he would see the friend she'd been to him before.

Gwaine was beside Merlin in two strides and helped him to his feet. What didn't help was that he was still laughing.

Elyan came down the steps and announced to all the gathered knights that their trip would be postponed. The king had advised against it while Morgana was at large and so close to Camelot. Elyan was disappointed, but he wouldn't risk his sister's safety and so, he had agreed with Arthur.

Merlin allowed himself a sigh of relief.

"Will you take a walk about town?" Gwaine asked Bri. "I'd be happy to escort you, now that my services are no longer required."

"Yes, I would like that very much," she answered Gwaine. Her voice held none of the roughness she'd had when Merlin first met her. He wondered if her captor had damaged her vocal chords or whether she'd done it herself by screaming. He shuddered at the thought and pushed it out of his mind. It was pointless to speculate about it now.

Gwaine offered Bri his arm and they walked down the courtyard together. Merlin watched them go feeling inexplicably forsaken.

...

Midday, taking a break from his chores, Merlin joined Gaius for his lunch.

"You keep glancing at the door, Merlin," Gaius finally said. "Are you expecting anybody?"

"I thought Bri would be coming back by now."

"She is eating with the queen today, Merlin. Guinevere has prepared chambers for her, so she will not be returning here this night. I will take a tincture to her tonight, to help her sleep."

"I can do that for you."

Gaius raised an eyebrow and regarded him thoughtfully for a moment.

"She doesn't know you, Merlin. Whatever friendship you had before, for her it never happened. And you scared her last night. You need to be careful."

"I know, Gaius."

"But?" Gaius raised an eyebrow. "There's always a 'but' when it comes to you Merlin."

Merlin shook his head and moved the spoon absentmindedly through his bowl of broth. He ripped a piece of bread and used it as a stir-stick until it got so soggy he had to drop it in.

"Are you going to eat any of that, Merlin, or just stir it into a mush?"

"Maybe, Gaius, you could ask her if she'd like to help you with your work," Merlin finally said.

"You are still talking about Bri."

"She knows herbs. She's good at it. Her mother taught her. It would be really good for her."

"Very well, Merlin," Gaius conceded. "Now just, for goodness' sake, eat your food!"

...

Gathered around the round table Arthur spoke to his knights and Guinevere about his intention to begin peace talks with Sarrum of Amata. Some of the knights raised objections.

"He's craved the throne of Camelot, Sire, since your father's reign," Sir Leon said, who'd lost men fighting against Sarrum of Amata many years ago.

"Well, I believe it's time we came to a settled truce," Arthur parried. "I believe that what he has witnessed in the past years, the uniting of the kingdoms of Albion, has given him pause. He will not risk war against Camelot now that we have so many allies. Sarrum may be greedy and ruthless, but he is not stupid."

Merlin stood a few paces behind Arthur's chair. There was no reason to fear Sarrum of Amata. Without Gwen's plot, Sarrum would never have attempted to take Arthur's life. Besides, even if he wanted to persuade Arthur against it, he was running out of "Trust me on this, Arthur" arguments before he would have to show more substantial proof than his mysterious intuition.

"Sarrum has accepted Camelot's invitation, and will arrive in a week's time," Arthur continued.

Merlin's head snapped up. A week's time was much earlier than it had been before. Sarrum had not arrived in Camelot for another two months. What had happened to convince the ruthless ruler of Amata to negotiate with Camelot so much sooner? Did Morgana have her hand in this? He couldn't know for sure.

And yet another matter worried Merlin more. A week had passed since their return from the Disir's cave, and Arthur had not mentioned before the council the promises he'd made or any practical indication that he intended to fulfill them.

As they walked away from council, Merlin followed closely in Arthur's footsteps.

"Sire, I need to talk to you."

"About what, Merlin," Arthur said without stopping or slowing his pace.

"About your promises to the Disir."

Arthur came to an abrupt halt. Merlin had to throw himself sideways as not to collide with him. He bumped into the windowsill instead.

"You've got a gift, Merlin," Arthur said irritably, and Merlin's eyes widened. Could Arthur know something after all? Could he be more perceptive than he'd given him credit for? "Were you born with it or did you make a lifelong study of being clumsy?"

Disappointed and relieved, Merlin swallowed the retort that jumped to the tip of his tongue.

"Arthur, you promised the Disir that you would make magic lawful in Camelot."

"Don't speak to me of it, Merlin, I know full well what I promised," Arthur bit out, looking grim. Merlin searched his face.

"What are you going to do?"

"Leave it alone, Merlin."

"But sire!"

"I said leave it alone!"

As Arthur strode away, Merlin looked behind him in the corridor and noticed Gaius standing there. They shared a look that was both grim and foreboding.


	6. Chapter 6

The days passed and Merlin found it harder and harder to broach the subject of the Disir with Arthur. He saw him deep in thought at times, and several times around the round table Arthur paused as if wanting to bring it up, only to speak about something else instead. At those moments, Arthur avoided Merlin's gaze, and eluded all attempts at conversation afterwards.

On their way back from an errand in the lower town, Merlin brought up the subject of the Disir with Gaius.

"He's stalling," Gaius declared as they walked back to their chambers.

"He needs to act."

"That is doubtless the truth, Merlin, and yet Arthur can't bring himself to do it."

"He must. How can I get him to understand that?"

Outside their door, Gaius shushed him. They stepped into the room and found Bri bending over the work bench, grinding something into powder. She looked up briefly and smiled at Gaius. To Merlin she gave a curt and uncomfortable glance.

Merlin started cleaning up some of Gaius' things ho hide his frustration. For a week he'd tried speaking to her yet she'd kept him at arm's length, observing him like he was some sort of creature.

"It's almost finished," Bri said to Gaius, stepping back from the bench in invitation for Gaius to inspect her work.

"Let me see," Gaius said coming closer for an examination.

"Here, I can clean that for you," Merlin offered.

"I can clean it myself," she replied not looking at him.

"Very well done," Gaius exclaimed. "You've got the makings of a great Physician. Your mother would be proud."

Bri's beaming smile melted away and her face turned parchment white.

"My mother?" she whispered. "How would you know about my mother? I've never told you anything about her."

Caught by surprise, Gaius exchanged a panicked glance with Merlin. Bri noticed their exchange, and looked confused between them. She turned on Merlin.

"This is your doing!" she said, her voice a panicked whisper. "You're always watching me. How is it that he knows this about my mother?"

Merlin shook his head, trying to dispel her fears.

"It's not like that," he tried.

"What is it like?" she asked, gathering her strength and squaring her shoulders.

Despite the hole he'd dug himself in, Merlin couldn't help admiring her courage. Her eyes blazed with anger. There was more feeling in them than he'd seen from her since he'd returned in time. This was a different Bri; one whole and not broken. As different as night from day, she'd once told him.

"Gaius knew your mother," Merlin said, thinking fast. "Years ago."

Bri watched him a moment, then shook her head vigorously.

"No, that's a lie. My mother would have told me if she'd met a physician like Gaius. Besides Gaius told me himself he hasn't set foot on Odin's lands where my family lived." She watched Merlin closely. "Don't lie to me."

"It's true," Merlin tried, but weakly.

"Don't lie. I can tell. There is something about you, something that you hide. The others, they're blind to it, but I see it."

Merlin ran his hands through his hair. There was one way to go, where he kept up the lie and would lose her trust forever. There was another, and it was risky and probably stupid. Perhaps the most stupid thing he'd ever done.

"It was you," he whispered. "You've told me about your mother."

Bri's eyes widened.

"Me?"

"Merlin!" Gaius bit out a warning.

"Yes, you."

Bri laughed. "I've never done such a thing. I would remember."

"When you were a child, your mother told you of a place, a lost place in the grey mountains."

"Merlin, stop this!" Gaius warned again.

"No, Gaius, let me finish." Merlin took a step towards Bri who was holding herself still, as if caught in a spell. "A crater where there rains grew a lake and no man had set foot on its steep shore. It was a place where dragons went to drink and gain the sight of the ages past and ages to come. It was a place where the hinges of time were loose, and your mother told you that if a man could make his way there, he could slip into time where the lake waters took him. If he held power, he could decide his own road."

He kept his eyes on hers and he saw her tremble like a leaf.

"Those are _her_ words. I've never told this to a living soul."

"You told it to me," Merlin said taking another step forward.

"When?"

"Half a year from now."

"In the future?"

"That future is gone."

That future had held months of agony for Bri, Arthur dead at Mordred's hand, and a heartbroken version of himself. Merlin shook his head to dispel the images.

"_If he held power_," she recited as if in a trance. "That means that you ..."

Whatever words she was going to say didn't make it past her lips. At that moment there was a knock at the door and Guinevere entered.

"There you are!" she exclaimed finding her new protégé. "I've been looking all over for you."

Guinevere, much more perceptive than her husband, felt the heavy silence in the room and paused, her brows knitting together.

"Am I interrupting anything?"

Merlin, hardly able to speak, stared at Bri. He was entirely at her mercy. She could destroy him with one word. He knew the time to tell Arthur the truth was drawing close, but if he found out like this, through someone else's accusation, he might never trust him again, or permit magic in Camelot.

Gaius was the first to recover.

"Not at all, my Lady, Bri was just finishing up her work."

Bri snapped out of her trance and smiled at Guinevere.

"I apologize, my Lady, I forgot the time." She brushed her hands on her skirt and looked around her. "I have not cleaned up yet."

"I will do that for you," Merlin said.

She threw him one inscrutable look, wiped her hands on her apron before taking it off and hanging in on the hook by the door. Guinevere watched Merlin and Gaius for a moment more, her head tilted to the side as if she was on the cusp of an important observation, then turned around and followed Bri out.

"Of all the reckless, stupid things to do, Merlin, this takes the cake!" Gaius exclaimed as soon as they were alone. "She'll go straight to the King. You'll be arrested in minutes."

Merlin stood staring at the closed door. He shook his head.

"No, Gaius, she wouldn't do that."

"How can you be sure?"

"I know her, Gaius," Merlin said and this time he believed every word. "I know her. But something has to be done, Gaius."

"And what is that, Merlin?"

"I have to tell Arthur. And I need to do it soon."

...

Seated between Sir Leon and Gwaine at dinner, Bri forced herself to pay attention to the conversation.

"You are quiet tonight, my lady," Gwaine said after getting very few responses from her.

"Forgive me, I have much on my mind this evening, Sir Gwaine." Her eyes met Guinevere's across the table. The queen was watching her with concern. Merlin, pouring wine into the King's goblet didn't raise his eyes, but Bri could feel his attention on her like the vibrations on the sting of a tight bow.

"Sir Gwaine," Bri started, "you must know how grateful I am to you for rescuing me."

"My lady, pray do not mention it again. I have only done what I knew to be right. I am most happy to have been of service."

Bri moistened her lips. "But how did you know, Sir Gwaine? How did you know to reach the tower? It is after all on Odin's lands outside of Camelot's domain."

Generous with the credit, Gwaine smiled and looked towards Merlin. "It was Merlin. He heard of it from an old woman, a traveler, and he came to me at once."

Bri looked again at Merlin who stood awkwardly to the right of Arthur's chair. She saw his cheeks darken and his eyes met hers briefly.

"Who was this old woman, Merlin?" Bri asked, her voice sounding much more confident than she felt.

Merlin hesitated. "S-she wasn't old, but she'd been crippled," he started looking Bri in the eye. "She'd escaped the tower herself after ..., after being imprisoned in it for months."

Bri's face had gone parchment white. The others around the table were silent.

"I see," she said, still looking at Merlin. "I owe you thanks, Merlin. And to the woman you met." She saw Merlin glance down at his feet.

"It was well done, Merlin," Arthur exclaimed rising from his seat and clasping Merlin's shoulder. "For once." He added this with a smirk. He took up his goblet and raised it. "To the most bumbling, clumsy and mutton-headed servant I ever had. To Merlin!"

"To Merlin!" echoed the knights around the table, glad to break the heavy silence.

Merlin swallowed hard and nodded. The jokes, he knew them all. But unmistakable behind their facade was Arthur's genuine friendship and affection. Merlin could see it deep beneath all the banter, and it was enough. It may even be the last time he saw it, for after he confessed his powers to Arthur, he didn't know whether their friendship would survive a second time. The first time, Arthur had been wounded and helpless in his hands. This time, it would be Merlin who would be at Arthur's mercy.

He looked up and found Bri watching him and the others, her face thoughtful. True to Merlin's instincts, she had not revealed his secret.

"By tomorrow night, Sarrum of Amata will be our guest in Camelot," Arthur continued, still standing at the head of the table. The clatter of utensils on plates and chatter of voices quieted. The knights watched him silently. "By the time he leaves in another week's time, it is my hope that we would have signed a treaty that would bring lasting peace between our two kingdoms. We may not like Amata's methods, or ever be close friends with him," he paused at the chuckles that erupted around the table, "but there will be no more bloodshed between our people."

"Hear, hear!" Sir Leon shouted, raising his goblet, and the knights followed suit. Without meaning to, Merlin's gaze rested on young Mordred as he sat beside Sir Leon. Mordred watched Arthur with admiration and affection and Merlin thought bitterly of how that all would change.


	7. Chapter 7

Later that night, as Merlin helped Arthur out of his dress clothes, he wrestled with himself. It had been two weeks since Arthur had given his promise to the Disir. Time was running out. He'd tried broaching the subject with Arthur twice, to have him simply refuse to discuss it. He had to do something, and fast.

"Arthur, there is something I need to tell you," Merlin began.

"What is it, Merlin?" He waited a little while in silence as Merlin knelt on the floor staring at Arthur's boots. "Well, speak up if you've got something to say."

"We've known each other for a long time."

"Yes Merlin, we have."

"And you know that I would lay down my life for you, Arthur."

"What is this about, Merlin? Are you after a day off? Because if that's what you have in mind, you can forget it. I need you with me tomorrow when Sarrum arrives."

"No Arthur..."

"Then what _is it_, Merlin?" Arthur said, barely containing his irritation.

"There's something about me that I need to tell you."

"That you're an idiot? I already know _that_. It's not a secret."

Merlin swallowed. "I've done this once before, it shouldn't be this hard," he muttered to himself.

"Come on, Merlin, don't take all night."

"Arthur, I am ..." he said and faltered. "That is, I have..."

Guinevere entered the room and Merlin stood up.

"I am definitely interrupting something," she said, looking between them.

"No, not at all," Merlin muttered backing up. "It can wait."

Arthur stared at him, a frown building between his brows. He kept staring at the door, long after Merlin had made his retreat.

"He was about to confess something to me," he told Guinevere.

She came close and wrapped her arms around him, resting her chin on his arm.

"Whatever it was, he seemed almost relieved not to have to confess it yet. It must be serious."

"That's what worries me," said Arthur still watching the door, frowning.

...

"You are welcome to Camelot, Sarrum of Amata," Arthur's voice rang in the crowded courtyard. The knights stood solemn and watchful behind him on the castle steps, like sentinels in their red cloaks emblazoned with rampant golden dragon. A subtle show of strength was made.

Merlin, standing to the side, watched Sarrum take in Arthur's escort of knights. While the two kings shook hands, Merlin looked over Sarrum's own escort. They were armed and dangerous looking, yet not enough in numbers to overpower Arthur in his stronghold. Perhaps his anxiety over Sarrum's early arrival was unwarranted.

He frowned and followed the two kings in. He went about showing Sarrum to his chambers. He had arrived later in the day than expected and would have enough time to freshen himself up for dinner. A festive banquet in honour of his arrival was being arranged for the evening.

Rushing about doing chores, Merlin was intercepted by Bri. With an inscrutable expression that Merlin was beginning to hate, she passed him a small bundle and a water skin.

"From Gaius," she said curtly. "You've not eaten all day."

She must have been helping with the preparations, for her cheek was a little smudged and her hair was coming lose from her braid. Merlin felt the urge to point out the smudge on her cheek or just reach out and wipe it off himself. As if sensing his intention, Bri's eyes narrowed.

He fought down the impulse and unwrapped the bundle she'd brought him instead. It was bread and cheese and a slice of baked ham. His mouth watered and he realized he was starving. He'd rushed out before breakfast and he had missed his lunch.

"T-Thank you," he stammered, but she was already walking away.

He stuffed the food into his mouth and forced himself to chew first, then swallow. Never before had ham and cheese and bread tasted so good. He'd have to remember to thank Gaius later. He washed it all down with big gulps of water.

"Merlin!" he heard Arthur's shout and was off again at a run.

Dinner was spread out on tables in the Great Hall, and Merlin ran about filling the tankards with wine. Arthur and his guest came in followed by the knights and Sarrum's escort and then the nobles of Camelot.

Bri walked in with Gaius. She nodded at Merlin.

"Thank you Gaius," Merlin whispered in Gaius' ear. "For sending me food earlier. I was famished."

Gaius expression was blank. "What food?"

"The food you sent me," Merlin reminded him.

"I didn't send you any," Gaius said.

"But Bri said ..."

Both men turned to look after Bri. She'd walked ahead and was almost seated at the table. If she had overheard their exchange, she gave no indication. Was she trying to poison him, Merlin wondered? It couldn't be, since he'd eaten the food she brought him hours ago and he felt no ill effects. Was there a potion that had a delayed effect? Why would she even want to poison him? She had his secret in the palm of her hand, and that in itself would have been an easier way to get rid of him. He didn't understand.

Gaius raised an eyebrow and walked on. Merlin stopped him with a hand on his elbow.

"You're not afraid I've been poisoned?"

Gaius turned and stared into Merlin's eyes. He pulled one of his lids wide open between his fingers and looked closer.

"No, Merlin. You've not been poisoned." A small smile played on the corners of Gaius' lips. "There's a much simpler explanation to this."

Before he could ask Gaius for clarification, Arthur called for him and he had no more time to think about it. The evening flowed with food and wine and entertainment.

Towards midnight, Sarrum rose to his feet to propose a toast. His shrewd eyes looked over the company.

"I thank you for your generous welcome into Camelot, Arthur Pendragon!"

Arthur nodded politely. Arthur's knights were silent and watchful, although many of the other men looked like they had imbibed much or were simply tired from the revels. Sarrum's men seemed to have had no wine at all. They were alert and clear eyed as they had been when they sat down.

"In gratitude for your hospitality," Sarrum continued, "I bring you a gift."

He made no sign to any of his servants to bring anything forward, nor did any of his men move at all. Sarrum turned to Arthur.

"You are too kind, Sarrum of Amata," Arthur replied politely to fill the awkward silence.

Merlin, standing to the side of the room, looked over the heads of their guests and noticed the tense postures of Sarrum's escort. He felt a shiver of premonition. Something was wrong. Something was about to happen. Arthur waited patiently for Sarrum to continue, but the latter said no more and sat back down in his seat at Arthur's side.

A small frown built between Arthur's brows. His eyes jumped to Sir Leon, and then to Merlin.

"Be patient, Arthur Pendragon," Sarrum said leaning back in his chair looking entirely at ease. "Your gift is about to arrive at any moment."


	8. Chapter 8

"_Be patient, Arthur Pendragon," Sarrum said leaning back in his chair looking entirely at ease. "Your gift is about to arrive at any moment."_

A high-pitched screech was heard outside the walls followed by the low boom of several explosions. People screamed and chairs fell back. Sarrum's warriors pulled out hidden weapons and attacked the unarmed knights.

"To the King!" shouted Sir Leon, and he and Gwaine were beside Arthur in an instant.

Merlin rushed to Arthur and Gwens' side, throwing his pitcher in an attacker's face. Across the room he saw Gaius being hit by one of Sarrum's men and Bri protecting him with a candlestick. Percival was wrestling to get to them, but too many blocked his way. Mordred had taken up one of the tall iron candleholders and was using it like a lance to drive back the crowd that surrounded him. Elyan fought at Mordred's back.

As much as Merlin wanted to split himself in half and rush to their aid, his first duty was to Arthur. Gwaine, Sir Leon and Arthur fought and were slowly driven back towards the far door in the great hall.

The main doors were kicked back with a deafening bang and through them spilled more of Sarrum's men, and at their head, Morgana. At the sight of her, Arthur surged forward in anger, but Merlin pulled him back.

"We have to get out of here," he urged.

"I won't run!"

"We're outnumbered and we have no weapons, Sire," Sir Leon shouted. "We can't hold them back much longer."

They rushed out through the narrow back door and propped it with a torch handle.

"It won't hold for long," Merlin said trying to get Arthur away.

They ran along the hallways and found all of the ways out blocked, except those that led further into the castle. At every turn, more and more of Sarrum's men poured in, and they kept running. They descended towards the catacombs below Camelot, driven further and further down.

"They've covered all the secret passages," Sir Leon shouted. "They've blocked every way out."

"Morgana would have known them all," Merlin said bitterly. His dilemma was at hand. If he wanted to save Arthur and Camelot, would he have to reveal himself? Had the time come?

Another turn brought them to a low staircase. Merlin recognized it at once. It was the way to Kilgharrah's cave, the vast caverns that Camelot was built upon.

A thought came to him. He'd never explored the caves. There may not have been exits large enough for a dragon, but perhaps there were some for people. And if not, at least it would give them a place to hide and plan their attack.

"Down this way," Merlin told them.

Arthur stopped and shook his head. "The dragon's dungeon. I know no way out of there."

"We must, or be captured, Sire. At least we can hide."

Arthur looked at Sir Leon unconvinced. "I don't like it."

Shouts were heard at the end of the corridor and suddenly Morgana followed by Sarrum was in the corridor behind them, blocking their path back.

"Trapped like a rat in a trap," Morgana said, her voice soft and deadly. "I've waited long for this, dear brother." She spat the last word out like poison. "I am going to enjoy crushing you," she chuckled. Her hands rose above her head and she spoke the incantations loud and clear. The rock around them vibrated.

"Arthur come," Merlin called and they all backed up down the dark staircase behind them.

Morgana's voice rose and the vibration turned to a tremor and to an earthquake.

"She means to bury us alive!" Gwaine shouted. They were too far up the stair to make it out into the open space below. And even then, there was no shelter from the falling rocks. A cave-in would seal their fate either quickly or slowly. Morgana cared not which it was in the end.

Rocks fell before and behind them and Arthur pulled Gwen to his chest and bent over her to protect her. They huddled close together. Sir Leon was knocked down by a boulder that hit him between his shoulder blades. Gwaine bent over him to protect him. This was the end. There was no escape, no way out. Morgana had her revenge at last. They could no longer see her through the wall of falling rock.

Standing amongst the rubble with a sense of impending destiny, Merlin raised his hands, and at the top of his voice, spoke a shielding spell. Arthur's head snapped up at the words and he saw Merlin's eyes blaze with gold, and a cupola of light form above them.

Rock and dirt fell around them while they stood shielded under Merlin's protection. The knights rose to their feet. Gwen untangled herself out of Arthur's embrace. Four pairs of eyes watched riveted to Merlin's fingertips, the bright light of the shield, and to the memory of the gold flash in his eyes.

"We must keep going," Merlin said, not quite meeting anyone's eyes. The path downward was just barely accessible. While holding the shielding spell, he spoke another incantation and the rocks blocking the way down were blown away.

"We must keep going!" he shouted at them. They broke out of their trance and followed him.

At the base, they stepped out into the dragon's cave, and Merlin kept the shield until the last of the tremors stopped. He took an unlit torch from the wall and lighted it with a spell. Then, with his heart beating a mile a minute, he turned to the others and Arthur and forced himself to look him in the eye.

"I meant to tell you, Arthur."

"You're a sorcerer," Arthur spoke and his words were a bitter accusation.

Merlin's heart lurched. It was the second time he'd faced Arthur's rejection. It hurt just as much as the first. Tears filled his eyes and spilled over his cheeks. His chest ached. He kept his gaze locked with Arthur, although he could see him flinching away.

"I am," Merlin admitted. "I have magic."

In a flash, Arthur drew his sword and pointed it at Merlin's throat. Shock and revulsion shone in Arthur's eyes. Merlin gritted his teeth.

"You lied to me. All this time."

"I've had to. I have magic, Arthur. I've used it all these years to serve you."

Merlin flinched under Arthur's icy gaze. The sword tip touched his skin. Gwen reached out to pull Arthur's arm back.

"Arthur," Merlin pleaded. He knew Arthur needed time. He had to be patient. He had to wait this out despite how it hurt him.

"All these years, Merlin. I thought you were my friend."

"I am your friend, Arthur," Merlin pleaded. "And I always will be."

Arthur shook his head. "No, if we live through this, I never want to see you again."

Merlin stared at him. The coldness in Arthur's face sent shivers down his spine.

"Arthur," Gwen entreated, but he lowered his sword and turned away.

"Come, we're leaving," he commanded and Gwen and the others followed him reluctantly.

Merlin stood rooted to the ground, feeling more powerless than he'd ever felt before, and watched his friends walk away.


	9. Chapter 9

A narrow stair was carved into the rock. Weak, grey light spilled into the great caverns from an opening far above. After a while their eyes grew used to the dim light. They'd left the only torch with Merlin, and Arthur was not about to go back.

Arthur, followed by Guinevere, Gwaine and Leon, made their way slowly down the uneven stone steps. Guinevere had made a few attempts to speak to Arthur, but eventually gave up and now they walked silent and tense towards no-one knew what, doom or deliverance. Merlin's revelation lay heavily on them all. Gwen kept looking back, but saw no sign of Merlin behind them.

The stair ended on the bottom of the cavern and after a few failed attempts, they found a large tunnel branching out.

"We'll follow it," Arthur said abruptly. The light grew dimmer and dimmer, until at last they were walking in pitch black darkness. "Keep a hand on the wall and another on the person ahead," Arthur ordered.

"Sire, perhaps we should turn back and look for a light," Leon tried. "And Merlin," he added haltingly. "He saved our lives."

"No. We keep going."

"Arthur, this is madness," Gwen said pulling on his tunic to get him to stop. "We need to go back. We don't have a light and we don't know where we're going. And we can't leave Merlin behind."

"He's got magic, haven't you heard?" Arthur snapped. "He can very well fend for himself!"

"He is loyal to you, Arthur" Gwen pleaded. "He tried to tell you, remember? Nothing's changed. He can help us."

"Everything's changed. How could he keep this from me? He's a sorcerer. He lied to me. How can I ever trust him again?"

"Arthur, if he wanted to do you harm, he's had plenty of opportunities. Why in the world would he stay and be a servant to you and keep living in Camelot, where the danger to those with magic is highest. Arthur, stop a moment and think about it. Merlin cares for you, more than anyone else I know. He would give his life for you."

Her words faded and the silence of the dark tunnel pounded in their ears.

Memories swirled in the dark behind Arthur's eyes. A spear that no one threw slaying the beast that was about to ram him down. A tree branch breaking at random and knocking down an attacker as he was about to plunge his sword in Arthur's chest. Little odd incidents that turned the tide of battle. Merlin always at his side.

He'd been so blind. He squeezed his eyes shut in the darkness, as if to block out the memories. Little things that Merlin did, now took on a new light. Merlin _had_ used his magic to serve him. He'd just never noticed. He'd been so sure of himself, so idiotically _blind_.

A scraping sound echoed further into the tunnel.

"What was that?" Guinevere asked, her voice high with fear. They heard the noise again.

The knights instinctively went to draw their swords, forgetting they had none. The darkness was so complete they could see nothing ahead. They stood still as statues, listening. Another scrape followed and then a shuffling as if that of a large body brushing against the rock. A sharp squeal sent shivers down their spines.

"Wilddeoren!" Arthur shouted. "Turn back! Hold on to each other! Run!"

They dashed back through the dark, stumbling over rocks. The Wilddeoren behind them gained ground, and its squealing getting louder. Several other squeals sounded from further away.

Before them in the tunnel, a small glow appeared. Guinevere encumbered by her long dress, stumbled and fell. Arthur and Gwaine helped her to her feet. They struggled on. The glow grew closer and brighter and Arthur started to distinguish a figure running towards them.

Merlin. In the light of Merlin's torch they could see the creatures behind them, barely ten feet away. Sir Leon turned on them, his only weapon a candle holder he'd taken from the dining hall. Arthur and Gwaine followed suit. Gwaine flexed his empty palms in frustration. If they were going to die here, they would die fighting.

Merlin reached them, and shoulder to shoulder with Arthur he put his hand forward and spoke an incantation. At his words a wall of fire burst out of the ground between them and the charging Wilddeoren. The beasts cried out in pain and drew back.

"We must go back," Sir Leon said.

Merlin stopped him. "No, we must keep going. This is the only way out."

"How do you know that?" Gwen asked him.

Merlin looked uncomfortable. "I can see the road ahead." Arthur scoffed in frustration and Merlin flinched at the sound. He turned to look at him, waiting for Arthur to give the word.

"Can you keep pushing them back, Merlin?" Gwaine asked him.

"Yes."

Gwaine glanced furtively in Arthur's direction before laying his hand on Merlin's arm and giving him a stealthy smile and nod.

"We'll keep going, then," Arthur declared. He didn't quite look at Merlin, but faced away from him and spoke to the others.

They walked in silence, Merlin ahead with Sir Leon who held the torch, followed by Arthur and Gwen and finally Gwaine bringing up the rear. Whenever Wilddeoren approached, Merlin drove them back by fire.

After that seemed like hours, the torch grew dim and eventually died out. A few whispered words and a ball of blue light grew out of Merlin's palm and rose in the air ahead of them.

"That light," Arthur whispered, recognizing the ball of light that had led him to safety many years ago in Nimueh's cave while the spiders chased him. For the first time in hours, he turned and looked Merlin in the eye. "That was also you? But how? You were dying."

"I was," Merlin admitted. "But it is my destiny to serve you, Arthur, to keep you safe."

Arthur looked away. This was Merlin, the same Merlin from this morning and the morning before that. He'd ordered him about and called him names and for some reason, he'd stuck around. He was a sorcerer with great power and he stuck around doing Arthur's laundry, and scrubbing his boots.

"Let's keep going," Arthur said abruptly, and they walked silently on.

Time passed, counted only in the number of steps they took. They didn't know if it was day or night above ground or how much time had passed since Morgana had attacked the citadel.

"We'll need to stop a while and rest," Arthur said to them.

They sat down, leaning against the tunnel wall, silent and watchful. Sleep seemed like a good idea, but none of them felt able to relax enough. The darkness around them was oppressive.

"What chance have we of retaking Camelot?" Arthur asked without looking at anyone in particular.

"Any of the knights that escaped would be gathered in the forest of Ascetir," said Sir Leon. "Once we are out of the tunnels, our best bet is to regroup there."

"_If _we ever get out of these tunnels," Arthur replied despondently.

"We will," Merlin said with conviction. "They think we're dead. We have the element of surprise."

"We sneak into Camelot and go straight for Sarrum and Morgana," said Gwaine. "Without them, their soldiers will flounder."

"They'll be knights held in the dungeons," Arthur said. "I would free them before facing Morgana."

Merlin felt the grim resolve settling in his heart. "It's Sarrum's men you need to worry about. I will take care of Morgana." He'd killed her once, he could do it again. He knew the weapon that could do it. She'd grown evil beyond redemption.

He looked up and caught Arthur watching him with something akin to awe before he abruptly looked away.

They set off again through the dark. After what felt like days, the darkness became less oppressive, slowly melting into twilight and then a bright white light appeared ahead. They crawled out of the tunnel into bright sunshine.

They were on a plain of tall grass. The mouth of the tunnel opened underneath a formation of rocks that jutted up on the slowly sloping plain. The wind was high, whistling like a live creature.

"I know where we are," Arthur exclaimed. "The forest of Ascetir lies east. Camelot is two days behind us."

"We made it!" Guinevere squeezed Merlin's hand affectionately. "We couldn't have done it without you, Merlin."

Gwaine slapped him playfully on the back. Arthur frowned and shifted from one foot to the other looking away. He examined the tip of his boot.

Watching him, Merlin almost smiled. But they were not out of danger yet.

"We should keep going," he said and they pressed on.


	10. Chapter 10

In the forest of Ascetir they met a handful of Arthur's men who had escaped Morgana's takeover, much fewer than Arthur had hoped for. Merlin searched in vain for Gaius and Bri amongst them. Night time found them tense and silent, preparing for the early morning hours when they would put their plan into action.

After much argument, Arthur had resigned himself to the fact that Gwen would not agree to stay behind. She'd donned breeches and had borrowed a long knife from one of the knights. A deep scowl had taken permanent residence on Arthur's face and even Gwaine avoided him.

Feeling like he could no longer postpone the inevitable, Merlin approached him where he sat glowering at the fire.

"Arthur," he began, "there's something I need to tell you."

"You mean there's more?" Arthur retorted gruffly.

"When we enter the castle tomorrow, it might be best that I go in disguise."

"You can always disguise yourself as my manservant!"

Merlin didn't know if he should laugh or cringe.

"I never wanted to deceive you." Arthur turned his face away, but Merlin pressed on. There were things he wanted to tell him, now, before tomorrow's battle. Who knew if they'd get the chance again? "I always wanted you to know me as I really am." His voice broke and he fought back tears. "But I couldn't. You would have had my head."

A huff escaped Arthur and Merlin knew his friend was still listening.

"I don't know what I would have done," Arthur finally said, and Merlin heard the echo of the same words he'd spoken to him on their journey to Avalon. He squeezed his eyes shut as if in pain.

"I should have told you years ago," Merlin whispered. "I made a mistake to keep it from you."

"I might have had your head," Arthur said flippantly. "Mind you, I might still have it now."

Merlin gave him a wry smile.

"There's something else. Remember Dragoon the Great, the old sorcerer that tried to heal your father?"

Arthur's brows drew together.

"The one that killed him, you mean?"

"The one that tried to save his life," Merlin emphasized.

"What of him?"

"That was me."

Arthur jumped to his feet.

"I swear to you, Arthur, I tried to save his life!"

They stared at each other across the fire. Finally Arthur sat back down.

"Gaius implied as much," he conceded. His head snapped up. "Oh, gods, that basket case, Dragoon the Great! That was you?" He frowned in concentration. "You saved Gwen's life, when my father accused her of bewitching me! It made absolutely no sense at the time." He stared at Merlin across the fire. "And my father almost had you burned." He shook his head and let out a dry laugh. "How many of these revelations am I going to have, Merlin?"

Merlin grimaced. "Uh, ... a few."

"Did Gaius know about you?"

Merlin lowered his gaze, but his answer was clear. Arthur swore softly and ran a hand through his hair. "It was just me, then, that you kept in the dark." He nodded his head bitterly. "How could you not tell me?"

"You think it was easy for me?" Merlin snapped. "To save your royal arse and never get any credit for it? To clean your armour, muck your stables and scrub your boots while you called me an idiot? To live under fear of death if discovered? In fear of losing your friendship?"

The startled expression on Arthur's face should have given him some satisfaction, but he felt none.

"You're my friend, Arthur. You were destined to rule over Camelot and bring about a golden age. I was destined to serve you. I wouldn't change any of that. But I am sorry for not telling you sooner."

Arthur stared at him across the fire. "I can see how it might have been difficult," he said wryly.

They sat in silence around the fire. When Sir Leon came and offered Arthur the use of a tent for the night, Arthur's grumbled reply was "No, I'm fine here." And he lay back against a fallen tree trunk and eventually fell asleep.

Across from him, Merlin smiled and settled in for the night.

...

Before the dawn broke, the small company made its way stealthily towards Camelot. Sarrum's sentries encountered on the way were silenced quickly. They advanced to one of the siege passages under the eastern wall. It was locked and guarded. Gwaine dispatched one of the soldiers and Arthur another. Furtively, Merlin whispered the spell that released the lock. One by one they stepped into the passage.

"Can you seal it behind us?" Arthur asked once every man had gone through and only he and Merlin remained just inside the gated door.

In response, Merlin spoke another incantation, his eyes glowing bright and the gate locked.

"I'm having trouble getting used to that," Arthur confessed reluctantly. "I thought you had no natural talents."

"Except being naturally clumsy?" Merlin threw him a hopeful glance and Arthur rolled his eyes.

"It's time," Merlin said and muttered the incantation that transformed him into the aged Emrys.

Arthur stared at him, his mouth hanging open.

"Good gods, it _is _you, Merlin!" He exclaimed. "I should have known! I thought youlooked familiar!"

"You're as observant as a blind goat, Arthur," Merlin the elder said with more audacity than Merlin the younger would have had at that moment.

Arthur blinked twice, slowly. "You just wait," he mumbled.

"Remember, from now on, I am Emrys."

"I'll remember."

They broke into a run to catch up with the others.

"Can't you move any faster?" Arthur snapped at Merlin as he hobbled along and eventually fell behind.

"I'm not as young as I use to be," Merlin shot back, stopping to catch his breath.

"How old are you exactly?"

"About ninety. But quite sprightly for my age, wouldn't you say?"

Arthur scoffed.

They snaked their way through the corridors and down to the holding cells in the dungeons. Not expecting any counter attack, the cells were poorly defended, and the guards were easily dispatched.

"Sire!" Gaius called out from one of the cells. Merlin set to work, be-spelling each lock open. Gaius gave him a quiet stare, raising an eyebrow. Bri walked out of a second cell to stand beside Gaius and regarded Merlin with curiosity. To Merlin's relief they both looked tired and wrinkled, but unharmed.

Percival emerged holding up a badly injured Mordred. Elyan was behind them. He and Gwen embraced.

"It's good to see you alive," he told her. "We thought ..."

Noticing the old sorcerer, the knights took a weary step back, looking for weapons.

"He's a friend," Arthur spoke, and his voice was full of conviction. Merlin looked up at him and their eyes met briefly. "He's going to help us fight Morgana. How is Mordred?"

"Not good, Sire. Morgana had him tortured."

Gaius was already examining his wounds.

"He should not be moved," he advised. "I'll tend to him here, but I will need medicine from my stores."

"I'll fetch them for you," Bri offered. "I know what you need."

"You can't," Merlin told her with authority, shaking his head. "It's too dangerous. Gaius' quarters would be well guarded."

"And who exactly are you, _friend_?" she asked him and her eyes narrowed. "You look familiar. Have we met before?"

Merlin scowled at her, and she, unimpressed, barely raised an eyebrow.

"I am called Emrys," he replied crossly.

"Never heard of you!"

"Never heard of the great sorcerer, Emrys?" he scoffed. "You don't know very much, do you?"

She drew back, her expression half puzzled and half amused at his audacity.

"You two. Stop that!" Arthur snapped. "Percival, you go with Bri to Gaius' chambers for medicines, and when you are done, come find us," Arthur ordered. He turned to the others. "We must go. We can't lose any more time. Gaius, where can Sarrum and Morgana be found?"

"The throne room, Sire."


	11. Chapter 11

They left the dungeons and made their way towards the throne room. At a fork in the road, Percival and Bri split off. Merlin watched them go anxiously. They carried on, finding larger and larger groups of soldiers ahead. They were drawing close. The fighting sounds must have reached the throne room, since more soldiers rushed to defend those that were falling.

Had they been alone, Arthur and his knights would have been overpowered by the sheer number of Sarrum's soldiers. But Merlin came, shoulder to shoulder with Arthur, and where Arthur slashed with his sword at the enemy, Merlin hit them with his magic and sent them sprawling and flying into walls.

Before the throne room doors they paused and looked at each other. Arthur nodded and at his sign Merlin stepped behind Arthur and spoke the words that broke the doors inwards off their hinges. When the splinters and dust settled, and they could see inside, they were met with a great hall full of armed men. Deep at the end of the hall, ensconced in the ornate wooden throne, sat Morgana in her dark robes and watched like a bird of prey. Sarrum, standing at her right, shouted commands to his men, and they attacked.

Hiding behind Arthur, Merlin went unnoticed.

Inch by inch Arthur and the knights gained entry into the hall. Steel crashed against steel and cut into cloth and leather and flesh. Men fell and were trampled underfoot. Merlin used no powerful spells, instead deflected a soldier here and another there, letting the crowd hide him as he slowly made his way to the dais.

Content that this was not a real threat and that Arthur was walking straight into her clutches, Morgana sat motionless on the oak throne and waited. She brooded over his survival in the caves. She brooded over the sight of him still alive. How had he managed it? It mattered not, since another opportunity was at hand, and she forgot her displeasure quickly. A restless eagerness overtook her, and she was tempted to kill Sarrum's men herself to hasten Arthur's arrival before her.

Suddenly, her eyes spotted a crown of white hair in the approaching circle of knights. She jumped to her feet, and already raised on the dais, she saw that which she feared: Emrys was amongst the attackers. She shrieked his name in displeasure and Merlin looked up and knew he was discovered.

He raised his right arm and in a booming bold voice he uttered the spell that knocked down like a wave an entire row of Sarrum's soldiers. He raised his hand again and repeated the spell, clearing the way between himself and Morgana.

He took long strides towards her and missed the awed look that Arthur gave him.

"Morgana!" Merlin shouted. "Your treachery ends now!"

Wide eyed, Morgana clutched a hand above her heart and the other shot out towards Merlin. She uttered her incantation and the stone ceiling began to crumble above their heads. Her voice rose higher and louder and the tremors came stronger and stronger.

Merlin barked out one command, eyes flashing, and Morgana was thrown back like a rag doll against oak throne. The throne fell backwards along with her unconscious body.

Amata's soldiers that remained standing in the hall looked around for guidance. They had seen the witch Morgana, who drove their master, being flung back like a leaf. They looked for Sarrum, needing his direction and finding none.

Arthur lost no time capitalizing on their confusion and struck them down one after another. His eyes scanned the hall for Sarrum, for he had not seen him since that first moment when they had stormed the throne room.

A shout near the doors alerted them, and turning he saw Sarrum with a knife against Guinevere's throat. Sarrum's face was livid with fear, like a cornered beast. He started moving backwards, pulling Gwen along as his ticket to freedom. Gwen had gone almost completely limp in his arms, acting like dead weight to slow him down.

"Sarrum, let her go!" Arthur called out.

"Stay away or I slit her open," he hissed. He backed further and further out. Arthur and the others followed them slowly. Once he reached the corridor, Sarrum picked up the pace, pulling Gwen along with a death grip on her throat.

"Emrys," Arthur shouted. "I need you!"

Glancing with regret towards where Morgana's body had fallen, Merlin rushed after Arthur.

"He's got Gwen!"

"We'll get her back," Merlin reassured him. "I promise."

They raced after Sarrum. Another turn and a short flight of stairs and he would be in the courtyard. If his men had horses ready, he could be gone before they got the chance to catch up to him.

They reached the courtyard before Sarrum had secured a horse and Merlin whispered a few words from Arthur's side and made the handle of Sarrum's knife glow hot. He cried out and dropped it, and at the same time Gwen kicked back against him and broke free. Gwaine and Elyan were on Sarrum instantly.

Percival and Bri came running down the steps toward Guinevere, and Merlin looking up at them, saw a dark shadow following behind. Morgana appeared at the head of the stairs. With her hand out she cast a spell that knocked Percival sideways and launched Bri into the air towards the drawn swords of the knights. Merlin rushed forward to break Bri's fall. She collided with him and they toppled to the ground. Merlin groaned in pain as his old joints hit the uneven paving stones.

"Are you alright," Merlin asked her when he managed to get air back into his lungs. She lay atop him, her head resting on his chest below his chin. He couldn't quite see her for his long white hair was in his face.

Bri pushed herself up and really looked at him. She brushed the strands of white hair away from his face. Her hand was warm on his cheek. "Gods, you're bony, Merlin," she whispered so softly that he almost didn't hear her at all.

Merlin's eyes went wide and his mouth dropped open.

"Don't gawk, Emrys, the great sorcerer. It's not very attractive," she told him pulling them both to their feet.

Meanwhile Morgana had stalked towards Gwaine and Elyan who were restraining Sarrum. The once powerful king of Amata whimpered as she approached, pulling at the knights' hands, a wild terror naked in his eye.

"You are no longer of any use to me," Morgana said. "Remember what I promised you?"

Sarrum's whimpers increased.

"I promised you would suffer all that you had me suffer. You will beg for death before long. It's too bad I won't be around to see it or prolong it." She pointed towards him, her hand like a claw, and spoke words while her eyes blazed golden. Sarrum's body spasmed violently. Gwaine and Elyan released their hold on him and his body dropped to the ground.

Merlin straightened himself and turned on Morgana.

"Stand and fight, witch!" he shouted.

Morgana's upper lip curled in a sneer, but there was fear behind her eyes.

"There will be another time, Emrys," she crooned. She raised her hands above her head and shouted into the sky and a swirl of dust and shadow enveloped her and in a blink, Morgana was gone.

Merlin growled with disappointment. He'd missed his chance. Morgana on the loose meant only more trouble. Behind him, the knights made quick work of Sarrum's retreating soldiers.

"The courtyard is secure, Sire," Sir Leon called. "We'll scour the citadel and drive out the last of them." He smiled, looking between Arthur and Merlin. "We did it, Sire. We did it."

At Leon's command, a group broke off and spread out over the corridors of the old castle.

Arthur had rushed to Guinevere and held her to him. He glanced up over Gwen's head and his eyes met Merlin's. Relief and gratitude shone undisguised in them, and Merlin's mirrored it all.

Gwaine stood where Sarrum lay on the ground. "Can you do anything about him?" Gwaine asked, his meaning unclear whether the _doing something_ was to cure him or make his death quicker.

Merlin touched his hand to Sarrum's chest and shook his head. "Whatever she did to him, I would need to know what it was in order to reverse it." Sarrum's body twisted on the paving stones one last time and then was still.


	12. Chapter 12

Merlin lay in his bed and listened to the voices outside his room. It was a clear, warm morning and the sun streamed brightly through the window. Gaius had not come to wake him, Arthur had not sent for him, Morgana was not at present attacking Camelot, and in the aftermath of battle Merlin enjoyed a well earned lie in.

"Two spoonfuls," Gaius' voice droned outside in the main room. "Yes, good, take off the top, we don't want any extra. Go on."

"Crushed arnica flowers," Bri said.

"How much?"

"One teaspoon."

"Very good. Yes, now stir it in very gently, like you're wrapping a pig in a blanket."

Bri laughed. "A pig in a blanket? Isn't that some sort of food?

"Delicious sausage wrapped in fluffy pastry," Gaius recited. "Not that the castle cook ever manages it right!" he said disdainfully. "The cook at the Rising Sun in the lower village, on the other hand, makes a mean pig in a blanket!"

They both cackled. Merlin, alone in his room, grinned from ear to ear.

"Shh! Not so loud, we don't want to wake him," Gaius whispered.

Tucked in his bed, warm and comfortable, Merlin sighed contentedly. He threw the blanket off, swung his legs over the side of the bed and sat up. There was a full pitcher of water on the wash stand, and he washed himself quickly, dressed and quietly stepped out of his room.

The room still showed a bit of disarray from the days past. Gaius sat at the workbench, making notes in a large journal. Bri stood at the other end, mixing up a bruise healing paste, by the looks of it. She checked her work against a page in an open tome that lay on the table beside her. Her sleeves were rolled up, and her hair pinned at the base of her neck. On her cheek there was a little white smudge.

They both looked up when Merlin walked in.

Gaius stood and came towards him with a big smile and his arms open. Merlin hugged him back. Over Gaius' shoulder he saw Bri smiling at him.

"Merlin, you're a wonder!" Gaius said, squeezing him hard. He let go of him eventually and Merlin stood smiling bashfully. "Come! You must be hungry. I've made your favourite!"

"Pig in a blanket?" Merlin asked innocently, making Bri laugh. He snuck a quick look her way, enjoying the sight of her laughing. He was tempted to brush his fingers along her cheek, where the white smudge was.

Gaius filled a bowl with a generous portion of stew and set it at the clear end of the table away from Bri's work. He brought him another plate with fluffy white bread, cheese and dried ham.

"Sit, Merlin, and eat!" Gaius ordered.

Merlin glanced awkwardly at Bri, but she'd gone on with her work and didn't seem to pay any attention to him. He sat and started eating. Gaius sat down opposite him, rested his elbows on the table and joined his hands together under his chin.

Bri had finished and bottled her paste in a jar. She cleaned up and put her things away. Merlin half ate and half threw glances her way.

"I'll be off then, Gaius," Bri said. "I've promised Gwaine I'd deliver this as soon as it was done."

She gave Merlin a quick half smile and a brief nod and he stood up awkwardly, almost knocking the bench over.

"You're a marvel, Merlin," Gaius said again after Bri had gone, but this time the tone was teasing.

Merlin stood staring at the door. He eventually sat down and started eating again.

"She knew who I was," Merlin said to Gaius.

"What? Of course she knows who you are."

"No, Gaius, I meant she knew it was me when I was disguised as Emrys."

Gaius looked startled. "Well, I certainly didn't tell her!"

"I know you didn't, Gaius. But then how could she have known?"

"Eat your food, Merlin," Gaius nudged him. He was silent for a while, thinking. "She is an exceptionally observant young woman, Merlin. Perhaps she got a close look at you."

Merlin's cheeks flushed. "You could say that."

He ate the rest of his food in silence, and when he finished he told Gaius the story of how they became trapped beneath Camelot and how he had revealed his powers to Arthur.

"I never thought there would be Wilddeoren beneath the castle, Gaius. Right beneath Camelot, can you imagine?"

"And why should you be surprised? What do you think the dragon survived on all those years of imprisonment?"

"I've never thought about it." He shook his head in wonder. "What about you, Gaius? Tell me what happened after Morgana attacked."

Gaius told him briefly of their capture and imprisonment.

"She tried to convince Mordred to join her," Gaius recounted, "and when he refused she made sport of him."

"If she'd known he knew who Emrys was, she would have tried much harder."

There was a knock at the door and Arthur walked in. Merlin stood up.

"Sire!" he said with some surprise. "Am I late for anything?"

"Well, as you can see, I _have_ managed to dress myself." He looked down at his sleeves. "Guinevere might have helped a little bit." He smiled sheepishly.

Merlin smiled back.

Gaius stood and bowed. "I must leave you, Sire. I am needed in the lower town." Merlin knew of no such assignation, but he didn't contradict Gaius. He was both pleased and anxious to be alone with Arthur.

When Gaius had gone out, carrying his medicine case on his shoulder, Arthur walked forward into the room with halting steps.

"So, I take it from your absence this morning that I need to inquire about finding another manservant," he said, not quite meeting Merlin's eyes.

"What? Why would you do that?"

"But now that you... I mean now that I know that you..."

"I miss one morning and you're getting me replaced?"

Arthur's head snapped up. His old irritated manner was returning.

"No, Merlin, I didn't say that." He looked at him awkwardly. "You seem to be rather over qualified."

"It makes no difference, Arthur," Merlin asked. "I don't want anything to change."

"You don't? I thought that surely you did."

"My place is at your side. I wouldn't change that."

Arthur looked closely at him. "I don't understand you, Merlin. Why would you want that?"

"You're my friend, Arthur. You're meant to rule Camelot, and I am meant to serve you."

Arthur shook his head impatiently. "Yes, you've said that before. But you really want to continue to be my manservant?" he shrugged his shoulders uncomfortably. "I mean, it's not the best job around."

"No, it's not," Merlin agreed.

"Merlin!" Arthur warned him. He paused for a moment and inhaled a big breath. "What I mean is ... I mean, what I was thinking was..."

"That sounds very confusing, Arthur," Merlin interrupted him. "Perhaps you shouldn't do so much of it. Thinking, that is."

To his delight, Arthur punched him in the shoulder.

"Merlin!"

"Yes, Arthur."

"Pay attention! I want you to join me at the round table, you fool."

All the foolery went out of Merlin and he stared openmouthed at Arthur.

"You're serious."

"I am."

Merlin sat down heavily on the bench, his back to the edge of the table. So much had happened, and so much was coming to fruition. He almost could not believe that he was having this particular conversation with Arthur. He had imagined it many times. He almost had it on the road to Avalon before he lost him. But that had been so bittersweet. To have Arthur know him for such a short time, and then lose him, had been cruel indeed, and it had left him little consolation.

He thought of himself at Arthur's side around the round table. He thought of Morgana, plotting away, stopping at nothing to overthrow Arthur and claim Camelot. He thought of Mordred, safe and loyal still, but for who knew how much longer?

"Arthur, perhaps it would be wisest if you invited Emrys to join you at the table instead."

Arthur tilted his head for an explanation.

"Morgana still doesn't know Emrys' true identity. She fears him and seeks him. As long as she doesn't know that he and I are one and the same, we hold a small ace up our sleeves. I think it would be wise to hold it a while longer. It will come out eventually, but perhaps not for some time, and in the mean time it will serve you well."

"And you will be beside me regardless," Arthur conceded.

"I will be." Merlin agreed with a smile.

"Polishing my armour." Merlin's smile faded. "Shining my boots. Mucking my stables." A pained look replaced the smile on Merlin's face. "Bringing my breakfast," Arthur continued.

"Calling you a dollop head, when necessary."

"It is never necessary, or advisable even, to call your King a dollop head, Merlin. How many times must I tell you that?" He snaked his arm around Merlin's neck and pulled him in for a head knuckling.

"I can hex you, you know," Merlin mumbled from within Arthur's grip. "I can make you break out in boils."

"Serving as target practice. Washing my floors. Laundering my shirts."

"Ow!"


	13. Chapter 13

Sunlight streamed into the great hall. All evidence of Sarrum and Morgana's brief rule had been removed from the castle. Repairs were completed to the masonry and all the items that had been damaged.

Around the round table stood at attention Arthur's knights, Arthur with Guinevere beside him and the aged Emrys in fresh robes of red embroidered with gold. Gaius stood inside the room, a bit further back.

"We are gathered here to induct the sorcerer Emrys into the circle of the Round Table," Arthur's voice rang out sure and true. "Today marks the day that magic is made once again lawful in the kingdom of Camelot. Emrys," he said turning towards Merlin, "Camelot owes you a great debt of gratitude. _I _owe you a great debt of gratitude. From this day forward your efforts towards a free Camelot will need not be worked in secret. You are welcome to this table!"

The knights cheered. Those of them that knew the truth of Emrys' identity, Leon, Mordred and Gwaine, smiled wider and cheered louder.

Merlin held his face impassive, but his hands were clenched together in a death grip. He'd been dreaming and expecting this day, yet now that it was here, it seemed impossible and miraculous, and his heart was beating a mile a minute.

"I thank you, Arthur Pendragon," he replied in his crackling old voice. "I am humbled and pleased to be granted this honour, and to be able to use my gifts freely and openly in your service, and in the service of Camelot."

The knights cheered again. Mordred was recovering from his ordeal at Morgana's hands, and looked bright and happy. His gaze rested on Arthur and it was full of affection and pride, and Merlin heard the Disir's voices _"Your doom will not be lifted. But we will hold you to your promises."_

Arthur had fulfilled those promises. Somehow, sometime soon, Mordred would betray them. Morgana was alive, plotting away. They would suffer again at her hands. One day soon, Arthur's doom would once again be upon him.

But that day was not today.

Merlin drew in a deep breath and sat down for the first time at Camelot's round table.

"A threat is rising in the north," Arthur said after they had all taken their seats. "Bands of Saxons are moving south, burning villages beyond Annis' land. They have not yet ventured across her borders, but she is growing weary. She has advised me that she is preparing for the worst, and may send word and call on our aid. And we will be ready. Camelot will answer her call."

Arthur spread out a few maps on the table and pointed out the last known locations of the Saxons' armies.

"Morgana may seek an allegiance with the Saxons, Sire," Merlin spoke.

Arthur looked grim. He nodded.

"We must prepare for the worst." He glanced at the knights. "We do not know their numbers, and I do not want to underestimate them. Annis has sent patrols to find out. In the meantime, I've analyzed some fields of battle that would give us the advantage when we intercept them."

"How about Camlann, Sire?" Sir Leon suggested.

Merlin felt a stab of foreboding at the sound of that name. He opened his mouth to protest, but Arthur beat him to it.

"Camlann is well suited for defense of an attack that has already reached closer to Camelot. But I would not choose it now, not if we are to do our duty by Annis. We will protect her lands. I was thinking here," he pointed to another spot on the map. "What do you think, Emrys?"

Merlin expelled the breath he'd been holding and nodded his approval with relief. "There is another ally I would call upon, Sire" Merlin said. "He is known as Alator of the Catha, a warrior and priest of the old religion. He would be a powerful ally."

"You trust this Alator?" Arthur asked him skeptically.

"With my life."

"Very well," Arthur nodded. "Write to him." Merlin inclined his head. The letter was written and waited in his pocket already. Reaching Alator before Morgana gave him the chance to right another wrong.

As the council ended, Mordred waited until all had left and approached Arthur. Merlin made his way out, hoping that conversation would go well. He knew what it would be about. The time for revelations was at hand.

He walked along the hallway, reaching into his robes' pockets for the tincture that would turn him back into his younger self. As his hand closed around it, he spotted Bri coming towards him at the end of the hall. He let the potion drop back into the pocket.

"Emrys," she greeted him.

"Young woman," Merlin replied, and watched her lips curl up into a smile. He felt bold around her as Emrys, the opposite of awkward and clumsy as when he was simply Merlin. "Have you accepted Gaius' offer of apprenticeship?"

"I have, oh, Emrys the great!"

"You are very cheeky with your elders."

She shook her head skeptically. "I doubt very much that you are," she said softly so that they would not be overhead.

"What?"

"My elder."

She smiled, and Merlin's eyes fell again to her lips.

"Perhaps Gaius will be able to teach you something. Let's hope you're not a waste of his time."

Her smile blossomed into a full grin.

"You do cranky really well, you know. It rather suits you."

He raised his hand towards her cheek.

"You have a little smudge here," he lied, brushing his knuckles along her warm skin.

"Do I really?"

When had she moved to stand so close, Merlin wondered? Or perhaps he was the one who'd moved closer to her. He took a step back. This would look too odd if anyone chanced to see them. He cleared his throat.

"Well, then! Very good!" he barked out, clasping his hands behind his back. "I suppose I will see you around."

"You suppose well, Emrys. One would think you're a seer."

"Well, I am a great sorcerer," he shot over his shoulder as they parted ways. He heard her laughter ring out behind him and grinned to himself.

...

"Mordred's a druid," Arthur said that evening as Merlin was putting away Arthur's armour. When Merlin said nothing, Arthur threw him a sideways glance. "He was the young druid boy who... Merlin, you _knew_ this!"

"I did," Merlin admitted. "But he had to tell you himself."

"So many people close to me, living in hiding!" Arthur sat heavily on the side of his bed, staring at the wall. "It's nothing short of a miracle that after all that's happened to him because of," here Arthur paused, "because of my family, Mordred is here, and loyal to me and Camelot." He turned to look at Merlin. "Even you Merlin. There were so many times you could have turned against me. I've really been blind, haven't I?"

"You don't really want me to answer that, do you?"

Arthur scoffed, shaking his head.

Merlin smiled. "Well, we all figured you're not a complete prat."

Arthur threw a pillow at him, and Merlin dodged it.

"You're going to have to get that yourself," Merlin told him. "I'm a bit busy at the moment."

"What, can't you make it float back or something?" Arthur challenged him.

Merlin stared at him, a smile growing on his lips. Suddenly, the pillow came flying back, aimed for Arthur's head, and Arthur, unprepared for the attack, took it squarely in the face with a muffled groan. Merlin burst into a satisfied cackle.

When they'd settled down a bit, Arthur told him the rest of his conversation with Mordred.

"Mordred's asked for leave to visit his people before we ride north to Annis' aid. He has no family left, but I understand there's a girl."

"Ah, yes! There's always a girl," Merlin said with a smile. He was uneasy about Mordred, but he could not see how his betrayal would play out. All he knew was that he had averted an evil he knew and opened a door for one unknown, unpredictable.

"Always? You think so?" Arthur pried, innocently.

"Always!" Merlin said, falling for the bait.

"So, there's a girl, Merlin?"

"What? No! It's not like that!"

"No? Well Guinevere seems inclined to think otherwise. She overhead a strange conversation between Bri and Emrys this afternoon. Oh, for crying out loud, Merlin, are you blushing?"

...

Merlin woke up gasping for air. His shirt was wet and clammy and he felt chilled to the bone. The moon was still high in the sky and Gaius's snores came deep and even from the other room.

Images from his dream lingered in his mind.

A bloody battlefield, the sky red in the dawn like the sky at Camlann. In the middle of the field, there stood Camelot's round table, and the knights, Arthur and Merlin stood around it. Across from Arthur, three hooded figures holding staffs with sharpened tips, their faces barely discernible under their black cowls. The Disir.

Bodies littered the ground around the round table. Up above them Merlin heard the beating of wings and a sharp laugh that he recognized as Morgana's.

"You've kept your promise, Arthur Pendragon," the Disir spoke. The sky darkened. "Your doom is upon you. The Goddess does not relent."

"No!" Merlin tried to shout, but his mouth would not open. His body was frozen, unable to move.

He watched in horror as Mordred leapt up onto the table and stepped across it towards Arthur. Arthur and all his knights were frozen in place like statues. Some of them were smiling, unaware of what was happening. As Mordred reached Arthur, he bent and pulled Excalibur out of its sheath at Arthur's side. With the hilt clasped in both hands, in the circle of the knights of the round table, he plunged Excalibur into Arthur's chest.

Shaking, Merlin squeezed his eyes shut trying to block the images. He threw the blanket off and swung his legs over the side of the bed. He walked to his clothes chest at the foot of the bed and, hands shaking, pulled out a fresh shirt and pants.

After he'd changed out of his sweat soaked clothes, Merlin snuck out of Gaius' rooms, desperate to get out into the open and get some air. He walked along the dark passages and hallways of the castle like a ghost. In the hallway overlooking the courtyard, Merlin opened one of the large windows and with his hands braced on the sill, he leaned out, closed his eyes, and inhaled the fresh night air. His heart was still hammering like a wild thing in his chest.

He remembered Kilgharrah's advice that he must do all he can to ensure Mordred's death. He'd followed that advice and made a huge mistake with the Disir the first time around. He shook his head. Looking back on how Mordred had betrayed them, it had not warranted Merlin's suspicion of him. He could not continue that way, suspicious, on edge, waiting for a chance to kill Mordred. It was not right. He was not a murderer. And Mordred didn't deserve it.

He didn't know how he would stop this new unfolding of Arthur's doom, but in his own mind he began to suspect that the key lay with Arthur and not with Mordred.

His thoughts were interrupted by the clatter of hooves upon the pavement. The noise was piercing in the quietness of the night. He opened his eyes and saw a rider enter the courtyard at full speed. The rider dismounted hastily, almost falling off the horse.

"I seek the King!" the man shouted. Lights became visible in the windows as people woke. Sentries rushed towards him. "Queen Annis calls for aid!" the man shouted again. "The Saxons have crossed our borders."


	14. Chapter 14

Merlin reined in his horse at Arthur's side. The courtyard was filled with mounted knights, their horses' hooves beating a tattoo of metallic echoes on the paving stones. The rest of the troops waited below, lining the streets all the way into the lower town.

Arthur bent down and gave Guinevere one last kiss. They'd said their farewells earlier that morning in the privacy of their own chambers, and now a silent look of entreaty passed between them.

"Be safe," Gwen whispered against Arthur's cheek. He nodded, and letting go, he straightened in the saddle.

Gaius, seated in the driver seat of a cart behind Merlin carried medicines and field hospital supplies. On the steps behind Guinevere, Bri stayed behind as Camelot's acting physician in Gaius' absence, her face an inscrutable mask.

For the tenth time Merlin kicked himself for not saying a proper farewell to her.

Things had been so hectic over the last few days, since receiving Queen Annis' call for aid. The Saxons had gathered in strength and advanced across her lands. They were now a week away from Annis' stronghold. If all went according to plan, Camelot's army would reach Caerleon's capital in three days' time, and would march out along with Annis' armies to Barladin, the field of battle chosen by Arthur. It would give them the advantage over their enemy. But the timing was tight, and any delay could be fatal.

Emrys had been busy collecting allies and counseling the King. Merlin had been busy getting Arthur ready for the journey. It was Gaius alone who hadn't needed him. Bri had taken over scrubbing the leech tank, washing the floors, and preparing supplies, as it was due in her role of apprentice. Merlin had barely seen her since their last talk, and even then, briefly and on the run. And now he kicked himself for not finding the time. Would she care if he didn't return?

Merlin looked up again and found Bri watching him.

"We ride to Caerleon!" Arthur called out, and the knights turned their mounts about. Reluctantly, Merlin broke eye contact with Bri and followed Arthur out of the citadel gates with an unsettled feeling in his stomach and a heavy heart.

Gaius' cart followed them and the columns of mounted knights. The army parted to let them pass as they made their way through the upper and lower town, and then fell in behind them.

Their pace throughout the day was brisk, and close to dusk Merlin's bones ached all over.

"Gods, how I hate being on a horse all day," Merlin muttered throwing Arthur a side glance.

"You're such a complainer, Merlin. Do you know of any faster way to travel?"

Merlin's eyebrows shot up cryptically, and Arthur narrowed his eyes at him.

"Not for an entire army, I don't," Merlin conceded.

Arthur glanced around them. They were sufficiently far ahead of the knights to be out of earshot.

"Don't tell me you can fly, Merlin!"

"In a manner of speaking."

Arthur stared at him then scoffed.

"Like, on a broomstick?"

Merlin grinned. "I've never tried that but I suppose it is possible, if not horribly uncomfortable. Even more uncomfortable than riding a horse for ten hours straight. Ugh! Why would anyone do it?"

"So, if not a broomstick, then how?"

"Maybe one day I'll show you."

Arthur pulled back cautiously. "Oh, no! I prefer my horse, thank you!"

Darkness would be upon them soon, and Arthur called for a halt. The troops stopped and set up tents for the night. They started fires and cooked dinner. Arthur's closest knights had found their way to him. They sat around the fireside eating.

"Deep in thought, Gwaine!" Elyan baited his friend playfully. "Thinking of some maiden you've left behind?"

"He's thinking of all of them, yeah," Percival laughed, and Gwaine made a swipe at him that Percival ducked.

Arthur watched them amused. He shared a smile with Merlin.

"Is it perhaps Gaius' new apprentice?" Elyan pressed on. Gaius raised an eyebrow.

Merlin's smile dropped and he became suddenly fascinated by a little speck on his boot.

"Nah, I don't think Bri fancies our Gwaine," Percival jibed. "Not that he hasn't tried." Gwaine punched his shoulder and Percival shoved him back playfully.

"Never say never, that's my motto," Gwaine said with a laugh.

Arthur elbowed Merlin in the ribs. "Well, at least he's_ tried_," he said softly so that only Merlin could hear him. Merlin scowled at the little speck on his boot.

Arthur watched him and shook his head.

Oblivious, the knights joked on, turning to Mordred and teasing him about his girl. Mordred made easy prey by blushing.

When the others had gone on to sleep, Merlin brooded alone by the fire. He felt like a puppeteer holding so many strings that he could barely distinguish his own. Emrys was to join Arthur once he reached Caerleon. Merlin would have been sent on an errand back to Camelot. He had sent a letter containing a warning and a call for help to Alator of the Catha but had received no answer from him yet. He hoped Alator was not in Morgana's clutches, but he had no way of knowing unless he went to search for him himself. And that he could not do. His place was at Arthur's side, especially on the eve of battle.

The fire dimmed a little and Merlin, sleepless and restless, added more logs to it and kept his vigil. He wondered if back in Camelot, Bri had already gone to sleep.

...

In the dark of the forest, not many miles away from where Arthur's army rested, a small group of armed men camped for the night without fires. Their weapons were sheathed and their horses' hooves covered and tied up in skins.

The only sound was the whimpering of a man who lay thrashing on the ground. His arms were bare and on his wrist a three pronged tattoo was visible, the druidic symbol.

Above him, like a shadow, stood Morgana in her dark robes, her eyes glinting feverishly. She held in her arms a velvet lined wooded box that contained the little serpent-like creature called the Nathair. The Nathair had already done its job. The bites on the Druid's neck were bright red in contrast with his pale skin.

"Let me ask you again, then," Morgana said, her voice sharp like the edge of a dagger. "What do you know about Emrys?"

The man twisted on the forest floor, and between gasps of pain, whispered, "He serves Arthur Pendragon. He is not who you think."

"Who is he?" she asked crouching over the man, her claw-like hand gripping his throat.

"He is," the man gasped, "he is Merlin."

In surprise, Morgana let go of the man's throat. She stood and took a step back, her face a mask of shock and fury.

"Merlin," she spat the name like it was poison on her lips. "That troublesome fool! Impossible! I had him in my grasp so many times! So many chances to kill him," she whispered thinking back. "I have to know for sure. And if it's true, I will not fail again."

She stepped forward and placed her booted foot on the man's throat. She pressed down until she heard a dull snap. The man's thrashing stopped. She stepped over him and melted into the forest.

Behind an oak tree, not many feet from the dead druid, a shadow appeared, a hooded man holding a staff. He walked silently to the body, and after looking cautiously around, he lowered his hood.

Alator of the Catha crouched down and whispered a few words over the dead druid, closing the eyes that bulged open with terror even in death. Without a sound, he rose to his feet, looked around him and disappeared into the forest, in the opposite direction that Morgana had taken.


	15. Chapter 15

Alone in Gaius' tower, Bri knew she should set about restoring some of their depleted reserves in the wake of the army's departure. She walked aimlessly about the room, and almost despite herself, her feet took her up the stairs to Merlin's room. She walked just inside the door and looked at the plain and sparse furniture. She wondered what he was doing now.

She'd missed so many chances of speaking to him before he left, of wishing him a safe return. Surely he knew that she wished for that. Even though she hasn't spoken a word to him. Shaking her head, she walked out and closed the door behind her.

She started making a list of all the herbs she had to replace, when a knock sounded at the door. A guardsman entered with a call from the Queen to join her in the throne room as soon as possible.

Somewhat surprised, Bri left her work and followed the summons. She found Guinevere in the throne room with a guest.

He was a bald, plain man, dressed in simple clothes beneath a dark traveling cloak. He carried a tall staff with a carved top and girded with one simple metal band.

"That would be all," Guinevere said, dismissing the guards.

When they were alone, Guinevere turned to the man.

"You are among friends here. You may speak."

"My Lady, I am Alator of the Catha, warrior priest of the Old Religion. I have been much pursued because of my magic, but I have heard the royal decree that those with magic are once again free in Camelot and I have received word from a friend. I come here for his sake." Here he paused, uncertain of how much he could divulge.

"You are a friend of Merlin's," Guinevere spoke. "As are we."

Alator bowed his head.

"I understand that the Merlin accompanies the king to face the Saxons in battle. He has entreated me to trust the King and Queen of Camelot."

"And so you can," Guinevere said earnestly.

"I bring you news of Morgana. She is even now flanking Camelot's army on the west, following their journey into Caerleon, and plans to aid the Saxon army by attacking from behind."

"We must send word to Merlin," Bri said turning to Guinevere.

"I would second such a plan," Alator said. "I would do it myself, but I would better serve following Morgana's movements as I have done this far."

"I will send a man at once."

"I have another missive to send to him as well," Alator added. He looked uncomfortable for a moment. "Have you a man that is trusted enough? The information is precious. Should it be given into the wrong hands, even friendly hands that mean well..." here he trailed off.

"I will go," Bri said. Guinevere opened her mouth to refuse it. "It is either you or I, My Lady, who are left here in Camelot out of those that know the whole truth of Merlin's identity, and you are needed here more than I. I will return in a few days."

"You can't ride alone, Bri. It is too dangerous."

"I'll dress as a man. The army is only a day's ride away. We know where Morgana is," she looked at Alator, "and I shall keep well away from her. I shall be safe enough. You said you have a missive for him?" she asked Alator.

Alator shook his head. "I will not write it down. Give him my words. Tell him Morgana suspects Emrys' true identity. Tell, him, beware, there are spies watching for confirmation, and she may strike at any moment."

"I will," Bri said and felt a shiver of foreboding.

Back in the tower, Bri went straight up to Merlin's room. She opened the chest he kept at the foot of his bed and pulled out a set of his clothes. Once dressed, she tied her hair up and pulled a cloak over her shoulders and the hood over her head.

Night was falling. Guinevere met her by the stables, where she'd prepared a horse.

"Safe journey," Gwen wished her, and distracting the guards, gave Bri the opportunity to slip out of the citadel unnoticed.

The road leading to Caerleon was wide and clear enough even by moonlight. It was good fortune that the moon shone bright that night, and by its pale guiding light Bri urged her horse to a gallop. She passed by forest and moors and kept going, the speed of her horse a thin safeguard against the fear biting at her heels.

For all her reassurances to Guinevere, Bri was afraid. Afraid of the dark road, and of the dangers that may lay in wait. Memories of her capture and brief imprisonment, brief only thanks to Merlin's second chance, came unbidden to her as she rode. Fear, like a claw, squeezed her chest, and prickled at her back, and she rode on.

When the moon was highest in the sky, she thought she saw a shadow fly across it. Despite her better judgment, she slowed the horse down and looked up.

"It is only clouds," she whispered, trying to make light of her terror.

Just then, a fast moving thing with tail and wings, flew across the face of the moon again. A sharp cry echoed in the distance. Bri startled, and her horse, mirroring her surprise, whinnied and reared up. With her heart in her mouth and hands shaking Bri pulled on the reins and calmed the frightened beast down.

"It was far away, it was far away," she chanted breathlessly. "We have to keep going."

She pressed her heels to the horse's rump and she guided it to a gallop once more.

...

At the end of the second day of marching, far in the distance, Caerleon's castle turrets became visible. Arthur put his right hand up and the knights behind him reined in their horses, and the army slowed to a stop.

"By tomorrow midday, we would have reached the castle," Arthur said.

"We've made good time, Sire," Gaius said from atop his cart.

They set camp once more. Inside Arthur's tent, Gaius, Merlin and Arthur went quietly over the plan for Merlin's departure and Emrys' arrival. Outside, darkness fell and owls hooted in the forest. Merlin listened to them for a while then looked up and noticed Arthur's tenseness.

"That is no owl," Arthur said frowning. He reached for his sword and walked out of the tent. Merlin walked out after him. Percival and Gwaine were still sitting by the fire and Arthur quietly gestured for them to follow him. They walked silently into the forest.

"Are you sure this is a good idea? Walking into the pitch dark forest in the middle of the night through possibly Saxon infested lands?"

"Be quiet, Merlin!" Arthur hissed. "Remind me never to bring you to an ambush."

Ahead of them a twig snapped and a shadow detached itself from behind a tree. The figure wore a dark cloak and held both hands out at its sides in a gesture of friendship.

"Stop right there! Identify yourself!" Arthur called.

"I bring a message from Camelot, Sire," came the whispered reply.

"Who are you?" Arthur said taking a step forward, his sword raised.

The cloaked figure looked around, and when it had satisfied itself that only the four of them were present, it lowered its hood.

"Bri!" Merlin exclaimed stepping forward. She looked worried and relieved at the same time. She unconsciously took a few steps closer towards him.

"I have news for you. Is it safe to speak here?"

"Come!" Arthur spoke quickly with Gwaine and Percival and between the three of them and Merlin, they managed to sneak Bri into the King's tent without anyone else noticing. Percival took a casual stance before the fire outside the tent, and Gwaine melted into the forest behind it, and kept watch.

Gaius was surprised to see them enter. Bri went to him and he hugged her silently. His eyebrows went up as he took in her appearance.

"What's happened?" Gaius asked her.

"Are those my clothes?" Merlin exclaimed as Bri took her cloak off.

"They might be," she said, looking uncomfortable. It gave him a small measure of satisfaction that it was her feeling awkward for once and not him.

"I bring word from Alator of the Catha," she said. "A day after you left for Caerleon, he arrived in Camelot. He's been trailing Morgana. She is following you even now, out to the west. She has a great flying creature with her." Bri gave a shudder. "I think I saw it last night as I was riding."

Merlin frowned. Aithusa, the white dragon he had endangered his own life to save. The dragon that was supposed to have been a good omen for Albion. It hurt him to think of the twisted, crippled creature it had become, and its pitiful, misguided allegiance to Morgana.

"He has another message for you, Merlin. He says Morgana knows Emrys' true identity. She has a spy close to you, watching for confirmation for when Emrys and Merlin switch places, and waiting to strike."

Arthur ran a hand through his hair.

"Does he have any clues as to who this spy is?"

Bri shook her head.

"We have a whole army with us. It could be anybody. We can't do it then. We'll have to do this without Emrys."

Merlin shook his head. "Not with Morgana planning to attack us at the same time. You'll need Emrys, Arthur. You freed magic and now magic will serve Albion. We'll have to think of something."


	16. Chapter 16

"I brought you some water," Merlin said standing in the tent doorway with a bucket of water held in front of him like a shield. "T-to wash," he stammered.

Arthur and Gaius had gone out for a while to give Bri some privacy.

"Thanks Merlin," she said pulling off the cloak and loosening the ties at the top of her shirt. His shirt. She turned and found him still standing there holding the bucket.

"It means a lot that you came all this way," he said staring into the bucket. His reflection wavered and morphed as the water sloshed about. His hands were not too steady.

"What else could I have done?"

He shrugged. "Send a soldier with a letter."

"With something like this?" Her eyebrows rose and she shook her head. "No. You are ... uh, I mean, this news was too important." She looked away, her hands fiddling with the edges of the cloak.

He nodded and looked down again into the bucket. "I'm glad you came," he said finally trying not to read anything into her words.

She looked at him with a hesitant smile on her lips.

He swallowed. "When we left, I wanted to..., uh, what I mean is, I should have...,and I didn't, and then I wished that I had..." He squeezed his eyes shut and shook his head.

Her face broke into a smile. "That was very eloquent, Merlin."

"Arthur's officially right. I'm an idiot."

She laughed, and he smiled back, his shoulders relaxing a little.

"You never seem to have any trouble speaking to me when you are Emrys," she observed.

He expelled a breath that was half sigh. "You're nicer to me when I'm Emrys," he said reproachfully. "It's when I'm Merlin that I have no idea what you're thinking."

"Do you normally read minds?" she teased.

He smiled, a big wide grin and rolled his eyes up at the ceiling. "No, definitely not, but most people are easy to read. Arthur for example. I can predict with certainty when he's going to call me an idiot."

She laughed.

"But you, with you I just can't tell. You're so, so inscrutable all the time." He paused, hugging the bucket to his chest. _At least he's tried_, he heard Arthur's words of the night before. He felt he was at the edge of a precipice, his heart beating fast, and the best idea was to just jump. "I-I don't know what you think of me," he said quietly. "I don't know if you even like me." Her eyes had widened, but she waited silently for him to finish. "That time you brought me food and said it was from Gaius, for example."

"I thought I was being too obvious," she said.

And then Arthur walked into the tent.

"The idea, Merlin," Arthur said, "is to leave the bucket and then get out. Unless you don't want any of us to sleep tonight." He paused and looked between them. "What?"

Bri tried to stifle a grin. Merlin put the bucket on the table and holding his hand over it he spoke a few words. Steam lifted off the surface of the now warm water. He looked up and met Bri's gaze.

"Wow," she said, dipping her fingers in to test it out. "That's handy. Thanks Merlin!"

"You better be careful with that," Arthur warned her. "He tried to boil me alive once."

Merlin grinned and turned to follow Arthur out. "Cabbage head!" he muttered.

"What for?" Arthur asked as they stood outside the tent.

"For awful timing."

Arthur stared at him for a while then his eyes widened.

"Ah! Sorry Merlin, but you were taking ages." He yawned and stretched. "And I'm exhausted."

...

Bri lay asleep on a mattress on the floor in Arthur's tent. They'd decided to keep her presence there a secret. Arthur and Merlin sat at the table, and Merlin wracked his brain for a solution to their new Morgana and spy problem. Gaius and the others had long gone to sleep.

"Any bright ideas, Merlin?"

"Nothing at the moment, no."

"Are the little wheels turning?"

Merlin's elbows rested on the table and his forehead was buried in his hands. "I think they're too tired to do anything of the sort."

"Well, you can turn yourself into Emrys, right?"

"Yes."

"Could you turn someone else into you? If you were seen together at the same time, Emrys and Merlin, that would convince Morgana's spy that they've got it all wrong."

Merlin's head snapped up. He looked at Arthur and found him watching Bri as she slept. Bri still wore Merlin's clothes.

"I don't know. I've never done it before."

"Well, if I were you I'd get practicing, Merlin," Arthur said standing up. "I'm going to bed."

Merlin watched Arthur move about the tent, his eyebrows halfway up his forehead and his mouth hanging open. Arthur took his boots off and his outer coat and slid under the covers.

"Don't take all night," Arthur called as he punched his pillow into the right shape and consistency. "And don't make any noise."

"Still a prat," Merlin mumbled.

"Did you say something, Merlin?"

"I said, _good night_."

Merlin sat at the table frowning. He would have to do some reading. He pulled out the book of spells that Gaius had given him and started flipping through the pages. Two hours later, he found what he was looking for. He was tired and exhilarated. He looked at Bri. Now all he needed to do was to convince her to help him. Somehow he didn't think she would refuse, but the whole thing would be a little strange.

He put his book of spells away and looked around for a place to sleep. He looked at the layers of blankets on Arthur's bed, and then speaking a few words the topmost blanket slid itself out from beneath Arthur's arm, off the bed, and floated towards Merlin. He spoke the words again and one of Arthur's pillows floated towards him as well.

"I felt that," Arthur grumbled half asleep, as half his head support vanished.

"You're dreaming, Arthur, get back to sleep." Arthur mumbled something intelligible and did just that. Merlin grinned and arranged himself as comfortably as he could on the wooden bench.

...

"You want me to do what?" Bri said, her eyes the size of saucers.

Morning had come, chilly and bright, and the troops were packing up camp and getting ready to depart on their last stretch before Caerleon. Gwaine and Percival still stood guard outside the King's tent.

"It would be just for a few hours," Merlin said hopefully. Gaius and Arthur stood a way off in the tent, watching the exchange. Bri kept glancing at them wide eyed, as if unsure if this was a jest.

"And you can actually do that?" she asked Merlin. "You can make me look and sound like you?"

"I think I can."

"You think?"

Merlin looked a little discomfited. "I've never done it before, but I am fairly certain..."

"For how many hours, exactly?"

Merlin looked up at Arthur for help.

"Four, maybe five," Arthur said, "just until we reach Caerleon. Once we've reached the castle, I will send _Merlin_ back to Camelot with a message to Guinevere."

"And how will you change me back to myself?"

Again, Merlin looked uncomfortable. "Well, there's a few ways to do it."

Bri nodded impatiently for him to continue.

"You could ride back to Camelot and brew yourself a potion that would turn you back. Gaius can give you the recipe."

Bri looked horrified. "That would be more than a _couple_ hours in your body, Merlin! Have you actually thought this through?" she exclaimed. "H-how will I..." she stammered and her cheeks flushed bright red, "how will I go about regular bodily functions?"

Understanding dawned behind Merlin's eyes, and in turn, his own cheeks flamed.

"Right!" he muttered.

Behind him, Arthur chortled.

"Not funny, Arthur!"

"Hilarious, actually!" came the reply.

"I will turn you back to yourself before your return journey, then," Merlin told Bri. She looked at him skeptically.

"And you promise me that this is perfectly harmless, Merlin?" she asked looking at him anxiously. "No lingering side effects, like ... like hair on my chest for the rest of my life, or anything like that?"

Arthur laughed again. "Does Merlin actually have any?"

Merlin looked towards the tent ceiling and counted to ten.

"Alright, I'll do it," Bri said. She closed her eyes tightly and shook her hands as if to shake off nerves.

"Are you sure?"

"Yes, Merlin, I'm sure," she said, not opening her eyes.

"You have to hold on to my hand. And you have to look at me."

Bri's eyes opened and she reached out her hand and clasped his.

Looking into her eyes, Merlin lifted his free hand towards her face. "You have to keep looking at me, Bri, all the way through." Bri nodded, her eyes locked with his.

Before speaking the words, Merlin tucked a stand of her hair behind her ear. Then he cupped her cheek and spoke the words he'd learned the night before. At first nothing happened. Merlin spoke the words again, but this time they came out as a command. His eyes flashed golden and the air around Bri shimmered and sparkled. For a moment, no one could see her, and then the shimmering stopped and Arthur and Gaius stared at two identical Merlins face to face, their hands clasped together.

"Did it work?" Bri asked, and her voice was Merlin's. Her hand jumped to her throat and felt Merlin's Adam's apple. "Oh, great gods!" she gasped.


	17. Chapter 17

Gwaine and Percival stepped aside as the flap to the king's tent opened and Merlin walked out. He stood there for a moment stretching his back and neck and then looked at each of them in turn.

"G'morning," Merlin said.

"Morning, Merlin," the knights replied. Gwaine hit him playfully on the back, and Merlin stumbled forward. He regained his balance and clasped his hands together in front of his chest, then released them and slapped them against his sides.

"Right."

"Merlin, are you feeling well?" Gwaine asked.

"Never better," Merlin replied. He looked conspicuously around and spotting Leon and Mordred he called out to them, and beckoned them closer.

"The King wants a word," Merlin said when all four knights stood around him. "In there," he gestured towards the tent. "In private. With all of you. Together."

"Are you sure you're alright, Merlin," Gwaine asked again, his brow furrowing.

Merlin squirmed under his gaze and ran a hand over the back of his neck inside his shirt, only to pull the hand away as if he'd burned himself. He flushed beet red to the tips of his hair.

"Fine! Fine! I'm feeling fine," he muttered and gestured towards the tent once again, holding his hands out at his sides as not to touch any part of his body. "In you go!"

The knights went towards the tent, throwing him perplexed looks as they pulled back the flap and stepped inside.

"What in the seven Kingdoms!" exclaimed Leon as he stepped in behind the others and came face to face with another Merlin. Instinctively, he reached for his sword hilt. The others had done the same.

"Now, now, don't panic," Arthur spoke up. They looked up and saw him standing with Gaius behind the second Merlin. "This one here," Arthur said, pointing to Merlin, "is the real Merlin."

"Then who did we just speak to out there, Sire?"

Gwaine's eyes scanned the tent. He saw the empty pallet in the corner and Bri's bag still on the floor beside it.

"Great gods," he muttered, "that was Bri."

...

While Arthur briefed the knights, Bri walked around the camp. She found her horse. Gwaine must have gone into the woods and brought it back. She realized she should be looking for Merlin's horse instead. She couldn't remember which one was Merlin's. She thought perhaps a black one. She squinted at the sheer number of black horses tethered together.

"Good Morning, Merlin!" Elyan greeted him. "What are you looking for?"

"Uh, my horse," Bri said.

Elyan raised an eyebrow. "You're standing beside it," he said, nodding towards the beast.

"Yes," Bri said, "well, I had just found it!"

Bri patted the horse's side in what she hoped was a familiar and comforting manner. The horse bristled and shook its head, and Bri took a step back giving it a pleading look.

"There, there," she muttered taking a hold of its reins and trying to pet it again. This time the horse didn't complain.

Elyan shook his head with a smile, and carried on brushing his own horse.

A soldier carrying a box approached them. He was dressed in Camelot's colours, but Bri didn't recognize him. She thought there would be many of the solders she wouldn't recognize. She hoped she wouldn't blunder with any of Merlin's acquaintances.

"I was sent to give this to Merlin," the man said approaching and laying the package at Bri's feet.

"That would be me," she said. "I'm Merlin. What is it?"

The soldier shrugged.

"Well, who sent it?"

The man shrugged again. "The physician did," he answered finally.

"Gaius sent it? Well why didn't you say so before?"

The man gave her a brief nod of his head and walked away. She stood staring at the package that lay at her feet. Elyan was watching her amused.

"Well, aren't you going to open it?" he asked.

Bri thought that she should probably wait and give it to the real Merlin, but she didn't want to blow her cover with Elyan or anyone else who might be looking. She could always open it and give it to Merlin after.

She crouched down and pulled at the strings that tied the package together.

"Do you need a hand with that," Elyan offered.

"I think I got it," Bri muttered finding the knot and unraveling it. She peeled the paper away from the package. It was a wooden box, about the size of a knight's helmet. She flicked the latches open, and raised the lid. She squinted at the contents for a moment, before whatever was in it launched itself out, aimed straight at her face. Bri yelped and dropped the box.

Elyan looked over and saw a black slug-like creature glued to Merlin's face. Merlin was using both hands to try to peel it off, but the creature would not budge. Without being able to see, Merlin tripped and fell on his back.

Elyan reached for the slug and started pulling. When it wouldn't budge he called for help. Arthur and the other knights came running, swords drawn.

"Someone sent him a box. This thing was in it. It just jumped on his face," Elyan yelled.

"Emrys!" Arthur bellowed. "Emrys, I need you!"

Bri was going limp on the ground, the struggle going out of her.

Another moment and the old sorcerer Emrys appeared running in his red robes, his long white hair streaming behind him. He saw the creature and stopped in his tracks.

"Stand back!" he ordered the knights, and Elyan let go of the slug and obeyed him.

Emrys spoke the spell for fire and there was a soft sizzling sound and smoke came up from the creature's back. It uttered one sharp cry and the weakening Merlin was able to pull it off his face. He tossed it across the clearing and Arthur captured it.

"Should I kill it?" Arthur asked watching the squirming creature with disgust.

"No," Emrys replied. "It's a creature of magic, but in itself it isn't evil."

Reluctantly, Arthur picked it up and placed it back into the box.

Elyan helped Merlin to his feet. "Are you alright?" he asked him.

Merlin nodded. "What was that?" he asked, still gasping for air. "The man said Gaius sent it."

"That was not from Gaius," Emrys said. "A gift from Morgana, no doubt."

"What was it trying to do to him?"

"Take away his magic."

"But Merlin doesn't have any magic," Elyan exclaimed.

The other knights and Arthur exchanged glances.

"Well, she's not very bright, is she?" Emrys chuckled. He prayed silently that the spy was still watching.

...

Morgana's shriek of fury echoed through the forest. The man in the Camelot uniform who stood before her with the news of what he'd seen bowed his head in fear and took a step back.

The white dragon, Aithusa, standing but a few feet behind Morgana, flinched at the sound.

Morgana shrieked again. In her mind she pictured the druid she'd tortured for information and wished she had kept him alive so that she could kill him again slowly and painfully. He'd lied to her. Made a fool of her. The slug had been hard to find. The creatures were now almost entirely extinct, after Uther's great purge of twenty years ago. She'd wasted it on Arthur's useless manservant and Emrys was alive and well and still in command of all his magic.

She turned to the man still standing before her, his shoulders slumped forward. For an instant she thought she might kill him instead, imagining it was the druid in her hands. She felt a powerful hate rise against the druids and their stubborn loyalty to their Emrys. Her eyes narrowed in to slits as another idea came to her.

"I have another task for you," she said and gave him his instructions.

As the man left, Morgana brooded. Perhaps going after Emrys had been the wrong approach. She would try something else. Emrys was powerful, but he couldn't possibly have eyes at the back of his head. She'd thought once of capturing Guinevere and turning her mind against Arthur with the help of the mandrake root. She would have been a great assassin, right at the heart of Camelot. That plan never came to fruition since she'd never gotten the opportunity to capture Guinevere.

But there was someone else whom Arthur trusted, close to him, and best of all, a druid.


	18. Chapter 18

As the turrets of Caerleon came into view, Arthur called a halt. The knights reined in their horses and Gaius brought his cart to a stop.

"Merlin!" Arthur called, and Bri, disguised as Merlin spurred her horse forward to reach Arthur.

"Yes, Sire?"

"I want you to ride to Camelot and give Queen Guinevere the news that we've reached Caerleon safely and in good time."

"You want me to ride back alone?" Bri complained.

"Are you afraid Merlin?" The knights chuckled.

"No, Sire, just realistically cautious."

"Any other complaints?"

"Who will help you dress, Sire, while I am away?"

Emrys chuckled into his beard. Bri was playing it for all its worth.

"I can very well dress myself, Merlin!" Arthur scoffed. Sir Leon rubbed a hand over his face to hide his grin. Gwaine didn't bother. Arthur scowled at him.

"Very well, Sire!"

"Since you're such a scaredy cat, Merlin, I'll have Gwaine and Emrys escort you over the hill, yonder."

Bri looked over to the hill. It was only about a ten minute ride away.

"So considerate, Sire," she mumbled.

Without much time for leave taking, Bri nodded towards Gaius and the other knights and took off, followed by Emrys and Gwaine. When they had gone past the hill, well past the last of the Camelot army they slowed their horses and dismounted.

Gwaine went off to scout and returned.

"There is no one about," he confirmed.

"Are you ready?" Emrys asked her. She nodded and placed her hand in his. "It's been odd staring at myself all day," he told her. He cupped her cheek and said the words, his eyes glowing bright. A shimmering enveloped Bri and when it dissipated, she was once again herself.

"I don't like it that you have to travel back to Camelot alone," Gwaine said, coming closer.

"To have it otherwise would have looked suspicious," Bri said. "Well, I'd better go if I'm to make the most of the hours of daylight."

Emrys took a small bundle out of his robes and passed it to her.

"What's this?"

"From Gaius," he said, using her own words, and winked. "You haven't eaten all day."

"Ah! I see." She gave him a grateful smile. "Thank _Gaius_ for me." She stepped in the stirrup and mounted her horse.

"One more thing," Emrys said. He held out his hand and spoke another spell. Bri and her horse were enveloped briefly in a white mist.

"What was that?"

"You'll attract no unwanted attention on your journey home. It will wear off once you reach Camelot."

"That's very well done, Merlin," Gwaine said, somewhat relieved. "Safe journey, Bri!"

She nodded at them one by one and turned her horse towards Camelot.

"Bri!" Emrys called out.

She turned around again and brought her horse alongside his.

"Yes Merlin," she said expectantly, her head tilting to the side.

His gaze flickered towards where Gwaine waited, and then back to hers.

"You do find your moments, don't you?" she said wryly.

"I have a gift, according to Arthur."

She laughed and touched her hand to his cheek. "You have a smudge here," she said.

"Do I really?"

She grinned and bit her lip. "No, not really. I made that up. I needed an excuse."

He covered her hand with his. His heart was drumming loudly in his chest. "You don't need an excuse."

"I'll keep that in mind. For when you get back." Her smile melted away. "You will, Merlin? You will get back."

"I promise."

She nodded and let her hand drop away.

"Safe journey, Bri."

"Safe journey, Merlin."

He watched her go and when he could no longer see her, he turned his horse around and found Gwaine watching him with a peculiar expression on his face.

"So that's how it is, eh?" Gwaine let out a low whistle. "That explains why she's been so indifferent to my charms." He grinned at Merlin and Merlin grinned back. "Although I have to say, Merlin, being thrown aside for a doddering old man is very hard on my ego."

Merlin scoffed.

"Who are you calling doddering? I happen to be in perfect health! You watch your mouth young man, or I will make you grow a tail."

Gwaine guffawed. "How did you keep this side of yourself from us all these years, Merlin? We were missing out!"

They spurred their horses forward and hurried back to join the others.

...

As they approached the castle, Queen Annis rode out with a small escort and met them on the road.

"I am glad you've come, Arthur Pendragon!" she called to him.

"Camelot will always come to the aid of her friends and allies," Arthur replied solemnly.

Annis angled her horse and moved sideways until she was face to face with Emrys.

"So this is your Sorcerer, Arthur Pendragon?" she asked in her outspoken fashion. "I have heard that you lifted the ban on magic in your kingdom, and I wondered at it." She watched Arthur and her eyes narrowed as if trying to read his mind.

"Queen Annis," Arthur spoke, "allow me to present to you the Sorcerer Emrys." Merlin bowed his head to the queen and she nodded cautiously in reply. "He has saved my life countless times, even before I knew of his magic. He has been a friend of Camelot long before I knew to thank him." He paused to pick his words carefully. "I have come to see that my father's fight against magic was ... misguided. I have come to see that magic in itself is not evil. All that matters is how it is used."

Annis watched him thoughtfully. "You are a wiser man than your father, Arthur Pendragon." She turned again to Emrys. "You are welcome to Caerleon, Emrys. A friend of Camelot's is a friend of ours."

"I am grateful for your welcome, Queen Annis," Merlin replied.

Annis and Arthur made arrangements for the army to camp out on the field beneath the castle, while Arthur and his closest were invited to join the queen as guests. Arthur left Leon and Mordred to see to the troops and join them in the castle later.

Night was falling and in the deepening twilight the tents were being erected and fires started. Leon was about satisfied that everyone had shelter and food, and he and Mordred led their horses on foot towards the castle. Between the main campground and the gates, they passed through a dark patch of forest. The sounds of campfires and men chatting fell away behind them and they could hear their own footsteps and their horses' hoof beats in the dirt.

Leon's horse pulled at its reins and pawed the ground nervously.

"Come, boy, we're almost there," Leon said patting the horse gently. He heard a branch snap, and he turned his head, instantly on alert, but he was too late. The blow caught him on the side of the head and Leon dropped to the forest floor like a stone. The last thing he saw as he fell and his vision blurred were two men dragging an unconscious Mordred away.


	19. Chapter 19

Mordred awoke in a small clearing. The first things he saw were two huge blue eyes, looking at him with curiosity. He blinked and an entire white dragon came into focus. He gasped and tried to move away, but his arms and legs were bound. He tried using his magic, but for some reason it was weak, almost useless. Had he been enchanted? He inhaled sharp breaths, trying to calm himself down.

The dragon came closer, its snout almost touching Mordred's forehead. Mordred stopped moving altogether, stopped breathing, and thought for one wild moment that his heartbeat stopped as well. The dragon sniffed him.

As their skins touched, Mordred felt an array of feelings that were not his own. Curiosity, distrust, and fear. He realized they were the dragon's feelings. In the same instant, the dragon drew back, its big blue eyes open wide. Perhaps if he'd felt the dragon's feelings, the dragon would have felt Mordred's terror. It certainly seemed likely, since the beast backed a few steps away from Mordred and a strange purring sound came rumbling out of its chest, as if meant to allay Mordred's fears.

Mordred drew a shaky breath and looked around him for a means of escape. The night was so dark, he could barely make out the tree shapes at the edges of the clearing. To his right he saw a moss covered wall of something that resembled a stone hut, built low into the ground. Turning his body so he could see it better, he saw steps descending into it.

Clouds moved across the sky, uncovering the face of the moon, and in the sudden white light, Mordred saw a figure climb out of the hut. Despite himself he gave a shudder of fear.

It was Morgana.

The last time he'd seen her, she'd tortured and almost killed him. If it hadn't been for Arthur and Merlin retaking Camelot, he would have died in a cell, in almost unbearable pain. He looked wildly around him for something that would help him. His eyes fell on the white dragon. It had lowered its head, as if in the presence of its master and backed up. Still reeling from the connection he'd felt with it, Mordred whispered to it "Help me! Please help me!" The blue eyes jumped between Modred and Morgana as she approached, but then lowered again to the ground.

"I see that you're awake," Morgana said. Her dark sleeves were rolled up and her hands and arms were covered in something dark and viscous. Mordred could smell it and it was foul. He jerked and tried to slither away on the ground. His kind knew of the powers of the mandrake root. He'd learned as a child to be weary of what they could do to a person's mind.

"Aw, don't fret, I'm not going to harm you," she said softly, but her voice was deceptive.

"This is wrong, Morgana!" Mordred cried. "Arthur has made magic lawful in Camelot. What more do you want?"

"I want him dead!" Morgana hissed. "I want my revenge for all the years I've suffered."

"Arthur never harmed you, Morgana. You have no reason to hate him."

"He sits on the throne that is rightfully mine. I have every reason to hate him."

"You're just like Uther, Morgana," Mordred started, but his words ended in a gasp of pain as Morgana's booted foot caught him hard in the ribs. He moaned and curled up.

The white dragon whimpered and took another step back. Morgana's gaze flew to it.

"Don't worry, Aithusa, he won't harm you. I'll make sure of that." Mordred almost laughed at the irony.

"All that you are doing is wrong, Morgana," he tried again. "Can't you see that?"

Ignoring him, Morgana spoke to the dragon. "Aithusa, I need you to bring him." She gestured towards the hut. The dragon walked hesitantly forward, her head low. She opened her mouth and grabbed the back of Mordred's chainmail with her teeth, their skin touching once more.

Mordred felt the dragon's conflicted emotions. Aithusa loved her mistress. She'd saved her when she was near death and endured torture by her side at Sarrum's hands. She had seemed to the young dragon, the only master that had accepted magic and the old ways. But as the days went by, the trust and affection she'd given her, had turned to confusion and fear. Fear that Morgana's motives and means didn't honour the old religion, didn't seek to serve the Tripple Goddess. They were all for herself.

"This is wrong," Mordred told the dragon, as he was being dragged across the clearing. "You know it's wrong. Help me!"

Morgana, walking ahead turned and delivered another kick to Mordred's stomach. He gasped in pain, his voice lost. He felt the dragon shudder.

"I'll take him from here," Morgana said at the top of the steps. "When the mandrake is done with you, Mordred, you will leave here and kill your precious Arthur. And you'll be glad." She laughed and dragged him down the steps. Mordred's blood ran cold.

The hut was dark, with only a yellow lamp burning in a corner. Mordred saw the shadows of the things tied to the ceiling like tentacles: the dripping mandrake roots. He shivered. Morgana dragged him across the floor and at its center, she manacled his hands and feet to iron bolts dug deep into the stone floor.

She took the lamp and held it at her side. Her face shone gaunt with madness in the slanting shadow.

"Sleep tight," she whispered and blew out the light. She went back up the stairs and bolted the door behind her.

"Come Aithusa," she commanded the dragon. "We have an army to defeat."

In the pitch darkness of his new prison Mordred heard his own breath come in and out, harsh with terror. He yelled for the dragon once more, but nothing came, nothing moved. He felt fear prickle at his skin, like fingertips touching him and felt hot tears spill down his cheeks.

He could feel the mandrake roots swinging above him. How many had she left for him? She must have wanted to break him quickly to have used so many. A foul smelling drop hit his cheek. He shivered uncontrollably. The fear came in waves. Mordred struggled with his bonds, heedless of the pain that shot through his arms. He had to get away. He had to get out. He cried out and heard a hundred voices screaming back.

He forced himself to breathe. Slowly, in and out. He was a druid. He was a knight of Arthur's round table. He would not give in to Morgana's evil and become her minion. Not without a fight.

His voice broken and weak, Mordred started chanting a protection spell. His eyes glowed bright in the dark of the hut, and the words gave him strength. He chanted the words again, and this time his voice was a little surer. He prayed he would last. But last until when? Until someone rescued him? There was no one who knew where he was. There was nothing to hold out for. He squeezed his eyes shut and whimpered like a child.

Gasping for air, he chanted the protection spell again and again. He would last as long as he could until his mind broke. He could not be Arthur's killer. He prayed he wouldn't be. He prayed for death first.

...

Hidden in the shadows of the forest, behind the hut where Mordred lay imprisoned, Alator of the Catha waited until he was sure the witch and her dragon had left. He would follow them easily in a while. He knew where they were headed. For now, he had to release the druid.

He came out of the shadows and into the clearing, and lowered his hood. Silently he walked towards the hut, drawing his staff forward, ready to cast the spell that would push open the locked doorway.

A shimmer in the air ahead of him stopped him in his tracks. On his guard, Alator stepped slowly backwards while keeping his eyes one the mirage. Could this be one of Morgana's traps?

Slowly, as the moon crept out from behind the shifting clouds, three hooded figures materialized before him. Alator recognized them at once and dropped to his knees, placing his staff before him on the ground.

"Great Disir," he whispered.

"It is not the Goddess' wish to release the Druid, Alator of the Catha," they spoke together. Their voices a mere whisper on the wind. "Pendragon's doom must be fulfilled. It is the Druid's destiny to accomplish it."

Alator looked up, trying to gauge their expressions.

"Pendragon has made magic free once more," he dared protest. "He will bring about the prophesized free reign of Albion. A time of light in-between the darkness."

"Magic is free as he promised us!" the Disir snapped. "But it is not enough! His doom is close upon him. You dare question the will of the Goddess?"

"No, Great Disir, I do not," Alator bowed his head before the authority of the Disir. The air shimmered again and the three figures melted into the dark of the night, as if they had never been there.

Alator rose to his feet, his staff grasped in his right hand. He pulled the hood over his head, took one last wistful look at the hut and then followed in Morgana's trail.

...

Percival and Elyan came into the great hall at Caerleon carrying Sir Leon between them. He was almost conscious. A gash on the side of the head had bled profusely, and he was stunned and weakened from the loss of blood.

Gaius and Arthur rushed to his side.

"Here, place him on this table," Annis instructed her footmen to clear one of the tables where they had dined. Gaius ordered water and cloths to stop the bleeding, and sent Percival to his rooms to fetch his medicine bag.

When Leon and Mordred had not returned after dusk, Arthur had sent the others to search for them. Merlin, tense and distracted with possibilities, had barely touched any of the food before him during dinner.

While Gaius saw to Leon's injury, Arthur interrogated him and found out what little Leon could recall. They were ambushed in the dark and Mordred had been taken away.

"Why Mordred?" Arthur asked. "Who would want Mordred?"

"Morgana," was Merlin's answer. "This is not good. We must find him." He wondered if he had the time to leave Arthur for a while and search for Mordred. Leaving him in Morgana's hands could be fatal.

One of Annis' sentries rushed into the hall, and bowed to the Queen.

"My Lady," he gasped in between breaths, "the Saxons are almost upon us. They've attacked the outpost at Barladin last night, and have moved south with great speed."

Annis' eyes flew to Arthur's and there was fear behind them. "This is too soon," she whispered. "We are not prepared."

Arthur looked to his companions. "We will be!" he said, and his voice was hard. And Merlin knew in that moment that there was no time for Mordred. Arthur was the key. It was Arthur he would stand beside. He would not leave him before battle a second time.


	20. Chapter 20

"Can we hold the lower field?" Arthur shouted amongst the noise.

Leon, his face smudged with soot and dirt and blood, shook his head. "Not without heavy casualties, Sire." As soon as Gaius had patched him up, Leon had insisted in joining the fight.

The battle had begun soon after midnight. Camelot's army had barely had enough time to pack their camp and get ready. From where they were stationed at the east of the citadel, Annis' own troops had come to close ranks until both armies held the line just north of the citadel on what Arthur had called the lower field.

The Saxons poured out from the forest above the lower plain. They came with fire and attacked in waves. In-between attacks their archers sent sheets of flaming arrows from the shelter of the woods.

Arthur nodded. His knights were holding their own, but the lower field was not a spot easily defended. The Saxons would pick at them and retreat, until both Camelot and Caerleon's armies were exhausted and thinned out. Without Emrys' help their casualties would have already been much higher.

"We are stretched out too thin, Arthur," Merlin said as well.

Arthur nodded. "We need to give up the castle. Move beyond it to the higher ground. I have to tell Annis. Hold the line! Wait for my signal. "

Both Merlin and Sir Leon nodded and turned back to the fight.

As Arthur left to find Queen Annis, Merlin heard an ominous screech behind them. He looked back and saw Aithusa circling in the sky to the west of the castle.

"Morgana!" he shouted. "She's attacking the west flank. I have to get to her."

"We need you here, Emrys," Leon yelled back, through the din of swords clashing and men's cries. He reached out and grasped Merlin's arm. "If you leave now, they'll cut through our lines."

Merlin knew he spoke the truth. He was torn, caught between rushing to protect Arthur and protecting hundreds of soldiers.

"Just a while longer," shouted Leon. "'Till he gives us the signal."

Merlin gritted his teeth and turned back to Leon. He couldn't abandon the men now. They'd be cut down. He just hoped Arthur would return right away and not try to do something stupid, like go out on his own to fight the dragon.

Arthur ran across the field to the back of the line. He spotted Annis, and yelled his message to her. She nodded in assent, and sent the call for retreat to her troops.

Suddenly from the west, Arthur heard the screech of the dragon and heard the telltale sound of the attack. From the vantage point behind the lines he could see the west flank. The Saxons attacked them from the front, and now a new group of men was coming at them from the west, moving across the field to block their escape.

He called a few of his men to him.

"You there, give Sir Leon the order to retreat south of the castle," he barked the orders at the men. "The rest of you, with me to the west flank."

Without pausing, he turned and rushed westward. The fighting there was fiercest. The men there fought bravely, but they were pinned between two enemies. The white dragon came circling at them with fire and with claws that picked up men and threw them.

In the back of Arthur's mind, he started to realize he would not take down the dragon easily. He wished Merlin was with him, but there was no point going back now.

As he got closer, he shouted to get the dragon's attention. The knights around him fell into formation. He glanced left and saw Percival beside him, and on his right Gwaine.

"You didn't think we'd let you get a piece of this all by yourself, did you?" Gwaine said casually.

Arthur grinned. "To me!" he shouted.

The dragon landed twenty feet before him and stalked slowly to the right. Behind it, through the smoke and dust came a dark shadow, and soon Arthur recognized Morgana.

"Kill him!" Morgana shouted at the dragon. "Attack! What are you waiting for?"

The dragon shifted sideways giving Morgana a quick glance. Its wings were drawn in protectively and its head was held low.

Arthur frowned. He'd seen a horse look like that, when his rider pushed it to do something it did not want to do.

"I said kill him!" Morgana shouted and the white dragon twitched and started forward.

In that instant, Arthur noticed a hooded figure had made his way to his side. As he reached him, the man lowered his hood. He held a carved staff with a simple band of iron encircling it.

The newcomer held out his staff towards the dragon and spoke words Arthur didn't understand, but the beast was pushed back by an invisible wave.

"I am Alator of the Catha, Sire," the man spoke.

"A friend of Merlin's?" Arthur said softly so that Morgana would not overhear them, and Alator nodded.

"I will take care of the dragon," Alator spoke. He tossed off his hood and taking the staff in both hands like a weapon, he went forward.

The dragon bellowed and blew a torrent of fire towards him. Alator raised a blue shield before him that stopped the fire. Arthur had seen Merlin use that shield in the caves beneath Camelot, when he'd revealed his powers.

They circled each other, the dragon taking to the air and attempting to attack from above. Neither one could best the other, until Morgana stepped in between them and with a spell, knocked Alator off his feet. The staff flew out of his hands and as he struggled to stand, the dragon circled again and closed in.

Alator reached his staff. He rolled onto his back. From his position he saw, unguarded, the underbelly of the dragon. He knew a dragon's heart was on the right and not the left. In his mind he saw the choice: to shield himself and hope that another opportunity be given him, or to strike. He lifted his staff towards the dragon's heart and shouted his spell, just as Aithusa covered him in flames.

A fiery explosion broke out between them. The dragon was thrown backwards through the air and landed on the ground beyond. Soldiers caught at the edges of the blast were tossed outwards as well, Arthur, Gwaine and Percival among them.

When the blast had passed, Arthur rose to his feet. Reinforcements were arriving. Morgana's army was being driven back, and the men retreating. A few steps ahead of him lay the body of Alator. He twisted a few times on the ground and then was still.

Arthur walked forward, sword drawn, towards where he'd seen the dragon fall. He would see to it that the beast was dead before he left this battle field.

The dragon lay on its side on the charred ground. One of its wings was broken and twisted beneath it. The bone pierced out through flesh. A large gash on the right side of its chest revealed its beating heart. Blood soaked the ground around it. Its breath was harsh and weak. It made a pitiful keening sound of pain, and as Arthur came near it, its large blue eyes watched him in fear, without the strength to move.

Arthur stopped before the dragon, Excalibur gripped tightly in his hand. He raised his sword arm high above his head. The dragon sighed, its eyes still locked with Arthur's. It blinked and large tears spilled out and rolled to the ground. Its keening sound grew soft.

Arthur stood there, sword raised, muscles ready. He saw the dragon's tears and in his mind's eye, he remembered the way it had responded to Morgana's commands. It hadn't wanted to attack them. It had been afraid.

He remembered also from long ago, the white unicorn that he had slain, a creature of the Old Religion, and how he'd heaped misfortune on Camelot with his rash deed. This wounded creature seemed to Arthur so much more than the unicorn. All that Merlin had taught him came rushing to him, until he could almost hear Merlin voice in his head, _"Don't kill it. It is a creature of magic, but it is not evil."_ And creatures of magic were now his subjects also. He was duty bound to give them justice.

He lowered his sword and took a step back. The dragon's eyes opened and met his again, and in them Arthur recognized an expression of surprise, and hope.

He looked around and saw Percival and Gwaine rushing towards him, swords drawn. Across the field, Saxons were pouring out of the forest in the wake of the retreating army of Camelot.

"Emrys! I need Emrys!" Arthur shouted at his knights. They stopped in their tracks, and Percival turned around to run back for the sorcerer.

"We have no time, Sire!" Gwaine bellowed. "The Saxons are upon us! The army is retreating. You must come away."

But Arthur didn't heed him. He turned around and placed himself between the fallen dragon and the incoming Saxons. His blade crashed against blade. Gwaine was at his side, but they were two men against hundreds.

And suddenly Emrys's voice rang strong and true behind them, and rows of Saxons were thrown back like twigs. Emrys advanced, his staff raised, and the encroaching army fell before him. Those that remained standing turned back and ran back into the cover of the forest.

"Of all the stupid things you ever did, Arthur Pendragon," Merlin started.

Arthur didn't let him finish. He grabbed him by the wrist and brought him to stand before the dying dragon.

"Can you heal it?" Arthur asked. The dragon's eyes, wide and luminous, watched him, mesmerized.

Merlin stared at Arthur.

"Can you heal it, Merlin?" In the heat of the moment, he'd forgotten to keep Merlin's cover, but none but Percival and Gwaine were around to hear it. Nothing seemed to matter except that the dragon should live. Dawn was breaking and the horizon was stained with blood-red light.

"She's become a creature of Morgana's evil, Arthur. She's dying," Merlin said, looking at the beast with pity.

"She?"

"Her name is Aithusa. I called her forth from the egg. A white dragon! She was supposed to be a good omen for Albion." Merlin shook his head bitterly.

Arthur stared at him open mouthed. "How much _exactly_ do I still not know about you, Merlin?"

"It will take months, Arthur," Merlin replied dryly.

Arthur shook his head. "She didn't want to fight us. She feared Morgana. I could see it. Can you heal her?"

"It is beyond my power to do so," he said, and Arthur looked away in frustration. "But I know someone who might."

And raising his face to the sky, Merlin spoke the words that would summon Kilgharrah, the Great Dragon.

Soon they heard the sound of beating wings. The knights stepped back, their swords raised. Kilgharrah came, large and dark, blotting out the light. He circled above and landed beside the dying Aithusa.

"Merlin, you're going to explain this, right?" Arthur mumbled, his eyes glued to the dragon, his body in full defensive alert, sword drawn and knees bent. "Is this the same dragon I supposedly killed?"

"One and the same," Merlin agreed.

"It is obviously _not_ dead. What exactly did I do to it, Merlin. Scare it away by fainting?"

"You called me, warlock, and I have come," Kilgharrah spoke.

"Right!" muttered Arthur, giving Merlin an irritated side glance.

"It seems to me we have not met in some time, yet the string of days is shrouded in mist." The Great Dragon's eyes narrowed. "You've chosen to turn back and travel a different path."

Kilgharrah turned to Aithusa. He looked at her sadly.

"Aithusa, The Light of the Sun," he murmured. The young white dragon wheezed in pain, her breaths weaker.

"Can you heal her?" Merlin asked him.

The dragon turned its head to look at him.

"If you wish it. It is within my power. But are you prepared for what it will bring about? Will you take the responsibility of her going back to follow Morgana?"

"I will," said Arthur, from Merlin's side.

"And so will I," Merlin added.

Kilgharrah stared at Arthur long and hard then sighed and bowed his head. He drew in a great breath and blew it across the white dragon like a shower of light. As the light dissipated, Aithusa rose to her feet, whole and new. She stretched out her perfect wings and flapped them. The gash in her chest was gone. The crippling injuries she got at Sarrum's hands were gone. She was a brand new dragon, perfectly formed.

"I have done what you asked, Dragonlord," Kilgharrah said.

"Thank you!" Merlin called, and Arthur echoed it.

The Great Dragon bowed its head and with a powerful flap of its wings, it lifted himself into the air and flew off towards the horizon.

The sun was rising in the east, its rays bright and golden. The redness that stained the sky melted into warm sunshine.

Merlin frowned and shielded his eyes. Behind Aithusa he could suddenly make out three figures. Three hooded figures each holding a staff. He grasped Arthur's wrist and pointed to them.

"The Disir," Merlin hissed.

Aithusa flapped her perfect wings as if to test them and then rose up into the air. Distracted, Merlin didn't mind the white dragon. If it was returning to Morgana, there was nothing to be done about it. The dragon had heard his name, and knew Merlin and Emrys were one and the same. He felt a stab of regret and worry of what future suffering they'd have to endure because of it. But in the presence of the Disir, all those thoughts were swept away.

The images of his dream came to him. The red sky. The battle field. The Disir and Mordred plunging Excalibur into Arthur's chest.

"Pendragon," the Disir said in unison. "You have fulfilled your promises to us."

Merlin's heart pounded, and then almost stopped beating altogether. No, they could not take Arthur away from him now. Not after all that he'd done. After all that he'd changed. Merlin stepped in front of Arthur, his staff raised, ready to take on the Triple Goddess herself if he had to.

"Don't be hasty, warlock," the Disir said. "We have not come to dispense punishment."

"Then why are you here?" Merlin demanded.

"The life of the white dragon has pleased the Goddess. In sparing it, Arthur Pendragon, you have spared your own." The three voices spoke as one, "Your doom is lifted."

The figures shimmered and faded, and they were left staring into the brightness of the rising sun. Merlin shielded his eyes and turned to Arthur. He felt stunned. His friend looked equally stunned and also humbled. A grin blossomed on Merlin's face, and he let out a loud bark of laughter, throwing his arms wide open. Arthur smiled sheepishly back.

"Oh, gods, Arthur!" Merlin shouted. "You big Clotpole! You Dollophead! You did something right, you golden Cabbage-Head!"

And then Merlin's arms went around Arthur and he hugged him tightly. Forgetting his age, he lifted Arthur off the ground in one big swoop. Arthur cried out in surprise.

"Oh, gods, my back!" yelled Merlin, setting Arthur back down.

Gwaine was almost doubled over with laughter as Percival rushed to Merlin's side to help him stand.


	21. Chapter 21

Aithusa tested her wings in the bright sunshine. She soared and dipped and soared again, joy blossoming in her chest. She felt whole. She was light as a feather. She cried out and her roar was loud and booming.

Her throat felt strange, like something was trying to get out. She circled above the men below, her eyes drawn to the two, Emrys and the Pendragon, the one who spared her life, and the one who'd summoned Kilgharrah to heal her. The one who'd set magic free, and the other who _was_ magic. And both of them, Morgana hated. Morgana in whom Aithusa had put so much hope and trust.

Morgana. Aithusa searched the field for her, and couldn't see her.

The dragon squeezed her eyes shut. A great tug of war pulled at her chest and she roared above the battle field. And as she circled, a resolve came to her. She knew what she had to do. She turned around and flew west.

The Caerleon castle faded behind her, and she dropped lower over thick forest, her eyes scanning the canopy. At last she saw it, a twisted oak at the edge of a small clearing. She hovered in the air above it and lowered herself down. She was thrilled with her new agility and power. In the clearing, she walked steadily to the moss covered stone hut, and with one flap of her wings, she lifted herself on top of its roof. Her claws grasped the edge and with all her might she flapped her wings and pulled.

The stone and wood groaned and gave way, and the entire roof came off. Underneath, huddled on the stone floor and chained with the iron manacles, Mordred lay with his hands barely able to shield his head from the falling debris.

Aithusa roared and with her front claws ripped the fallen roof in half. Hanging from it, the oozing mandrake roots were thrown about like little hanging corpses.

When the debris cleared, Mordred lowered his arms and looked up. His eyes hurt from the sudden invasion of light. He squinted at the white dragon. It was stalking towards him, its fangs bared.

Mordred had passed the night in near agony. The shield the druids taught him had protected him, but he was losing strength. But he would choose to die ripped apart by a dragon any day than suffer another minute under the influence of mandrake. He flinched and closed his eyes once more, but Aithusa's teeth gripped the chains that held him and ripped them out of the floor. Mordred stumbled to his feet.

"You are free," the dragon spoke, her voice between and hiss and a roar. Aithusa felt her first words scorch through her throat, and they were true for Mordred, and they were also true for herself. "Come," she said to him.

Mordred stumbled towards her. The broken chains dangled from his wrists and ankles. He touched his hand to Aithusa's head, and in a flash, he knew he was safe. The dragon lowered her head and Modred scrambled atop her back.

"Oh, gods," he gasped as Aithusa lifted them effortlessly into the air.

...

Merlin, Arthur, Gwaine and Percival had left the western field and rejoined the main army where it had retreated south of the castle. They'd taken Alator's body with them to be given proper burial. The castle siege gate was up and those of Annis' armies that remained inside had sealed the citadel against invasion.

However, little effort on the Saxons' part was directed towards it. Since daylight had come, they had pushed forward at Camelot and Caerleon armies' backs, maintaining their advantage as the others retreated.

With Arthur and Merlin both missing, Leon with Elyan by his side did his best to hold his own and defend the newly gained point of advantage, the hill just south of the castle. But the men were tired. They had been fighting through the night with no relief, and slowly they were losing ground.

It had been hard to tell the Saxons' numbers the previous night while they attacked from under the cover of the forest. Now they swarmed out on the open countryside in great numbers. Sir Leon fought to keep the soldier's spirits high.

And suddenly Arthur was at his side, and with him Merlin still disguised as Emrys, and Gwaine and Percival, and Leon gave a great shout of joy.

"Sire!" he cried. "You are a sight for sore eyes!"

With renewed spirit they fought back the enemy.

A sharp cry in the sky made Merlin look up. Above them circled once more Aithusa. The knights pulled into formation to defend against her attack, and archers armed their crossbows, but Merlin held them back.

"Wait!" he said. He couldn't be quite sure, but he thought he saw something on her back.

Aithusa circled lower and lower, and finally she swooped down. She landed before Merlin. She shuffled closer, and tucked her wings about her. Mordred slid down her side and stumbled forward into the arms of his fellow knights.

"Dragonlord," Aithusa spoke to Merlin, her voice a harsh whisper. She bowed her head to the ground.

Arthur embraced Mordred. "Are you alright?"

"Morgana had me abducted, Sire. She held me in a hut not far from here." He glanced at Merlin. "She hoped to bend my mind with mandrake."

"How do we know that she did not succeed?" Merlin asked skeptically. "How do we know that you are not here to kill Arthur?" He pointed his staff at Mordred's chest. He had to be sure.

Aithusa stepped forward towards Mordred. "His mind is his own," the dragon rumbled.

"You think Mordred here is going to kill me?" Arthur exclaimed. "Well, there's only one way to find out and put your fears to rest." Saying that, Arthur tossed Excalibur, hilt forward, towards Mordred. Startled, Mordred stepped up to catch it. The chains around his wrists rattled. Arthur held his hands out at his side, and raised an eyebrow with a small smile. They stood close together, in the circle of the waiting knights.

Merlin held his breath.

Mordred smiled and gently held out the sword with both hands. Still holding it up, he knelt before Arthur.

"Sire," he said, and Arthur received Excalibur back from him.

The Disir had declared Arthur's doom lifted. Accepting that Mordred was telling the truth, Merlin held out his hand and in a blink, the iron chains that Mordred carried on his wrists and ankles snapped off. Mordred nodded to him in gratitude.

"And Morgana?" Merlin asked.

"She is no longer here," Aithusa rumbled, and her eyes reflected disappointment and regret. "The tide has turned."

"So, now that we got you back, can you fight?" Gwaine asked Mordred, clapping a hand on his shoulder.

"I can!"

Gwaine tossed him another sword. "Then let's go fight!" he cried. "I don't know about you, but I miss home."

"For Camelot!" Arthur cried and they followed him back into the fray.

With the knights at their side, Arthur and Merlin, shoulder to shoulder, opened a path into the enemy lines.

"I can get used to this," Arthur yelled.

"What? Gory battles?"

"No. Your magic."

"I thought you said I had no natural talents."

"Perhaps I was wrong."

"I'm sorry, what did you say? It's rather loud around here. I didn't catch that."

Arthur laughed. "I said I was wrong, you idiot!"

"Yeah, I thought so."

"Quit grinning, Merlin."

...

The road home was the longest Merlin had ever experienced. Emrys had left and soon after the battle and Merlin had feigned galloping back from Camelot to rejoin the returning army.

"Have I missed anything?" he asked the others, and they laughed and embraced him. Gwaine and Percival had finally filled Elyan in and then had to listen to their friend's complaints for being kept in the dark this long.

"I wish you didn't have to be two people, Merlin," Arthur said to him on the last day of their return trip. Camelot's towers were already visible on the horizon.

"I wish that too. But it is a small price to pay, and perhaps not for much longer. I have everything else I could possibly want."

"There was something the dragon said, Merlin," Arthur said after a while. "Something about you choosing to turn back and travel a different path. What was that about?"

Merlin glanced around nervously. He wasn't sure he wanted to have this conversation here and now, but the knights were a bit ahead of them and Gaius' cart a few meters back, and the rest of the army behind him. They rode on an open plain. There was no one around to overhear.

"Merlin?"

"I don't want to hold back any more secrets from you Arthur," Merlin started hesitantly. "Things didn't always end the way they did today."

Arthur watched him silently, something in Merlin's tone and the tense way his hands gripped the reins gave him pause.

"What do you mean?"

And Merlin started telling him the story of the original encounter with the Disir, the battle of Camlann, Mordred's betrayal, and Arthur's own death. He told him of the time after when he lingered in grief, and of finding Bri and the magic cauldron pool that let him return to, as Kilgharrah had put it, another path.

When he was finished, he turned to look at Arthur and found him parchment white. He saw him swallow hard. Their eyes met and held. Arthur swallowed again and looked ahead towards the horizon where the towers of Camelot rose into view in the golden light of evening.

When Arthur finally spoke, his voice was thick with emotion. "Merlin, I owe you so much more than I ever imagined. You saved me and you saved Camelot. You made all this possible," he said, nodding his head towards their home.

"It was you, Arthur," Merlin said with a smile. "You are the one who saved Camelot. All this time, I watched Mordred, agonized over his coming betrayal. I tried to save you from pitfalls without telling you what you were up against, without giving you the choice to save yourself. You're the one that saved the day, Arthur! You freed magic. You saved the dragon's life."

"I would have never made those choices without what you've taught me, Merlin," Arthur said shaking his head. "I would not be the man I am now without your counsel and without your friendship."

As the Camelot's citadel came fully into view before them, Merlin felt his heart full to bursting. They said no more words. No words were needed.

Their home was close and ahead of them they heard Sir Gwaine give a merry shout and spur his horse forward at a gallop. The knights' laughter rang out and they too picked up their pace.

"I'll race you!" Arthur shouted, his horse springing forward. And laughing, Merlin followed him close behind. When they entered the lower town they had to slow a little for the streets were lined with people waiting to greet them. Shouts of "Long Live the King" rose among them, and Arthur, despite his impatience to be home to Guinevere, smiled and waved and did his duty.

As they entered the castle courtyard, Arthur spotted Guinevere waiting at the bottom of the steps and he dismounted and ran towards her. She met him half way and they embraced and kissed, Arthur full of the new-found knowledge of that other timeline that Merlin had averted, where he had never returned to Guinevere. The knights cheered and Gwaine whistled suggestively.

"Now that's a royal welcome!" he called out, and the others laughed. Percival slapped him on the back. Merlin grinned.

Gaius had pulled up and out of the main doors and down the steps came Bri and hugged him.

Merlin, dismounting and leading his horse towards them, wondered if not a royal welcome, perhaps he might also get a hug. He came to a stop beside them and stood there awkwardly.

"Welcome home Merlin," Bri said, a bright smile on her face. She made no move to hug him, but held out her hand, and Merlin took it.

"What is that?" they heard Gwaine exclaim. "You call that a welcome? Want me to come over there and show you how it's done?"

Embarrassed, Bri let go of Merlin's hand and looked away. Merlin shot a look towards Gwaine who grimaced and shook his head, and whether it was in remorse or in disappointment, Merlin couldn't tell.

"When you have all refreshed yourselves from your journey," Guinevere's voice rang out, "you are all expected to dinner in the great hall."

The knights cheered again.

"Oh, succulent roasted pig with golden potatoes," sighed Percival, and Mordred who was standing beside him, closed his eyes, swallowed.

"I'll eat anything," he said.

"Flaky chicken pie!" said Gwaine licking his lips. "And a pint of ale."

"Gods, a bath!" grumbled Sir Leon and the others laughed.

"Yeah, Gwaine!" Elyan said slapping him on the back. "A bath!"

"Is that a hint?"

"Just sayin'."

Merlin turned to Arthur.

"I'll take the horses away and come help you," Merlin said.

Still holding Guinevere to him with one arm, Arthur turned and placed his hand on Merlin's shoulder. "No, Merlin. One of the guards can do that. And Guinevere's maid will see to my bath and clothes. Go rest up. You've certainly earned it. I'll see you at dinner. You're going to sit and eat with us. All of us. Gaius! Bri!"

"Sire," Gaius smiled and bowed deeply.

"But Arthur," Merlin hissed so that others won't hear him, "I'm still your manservant. I'm supposed to come and help you. Won't it look odd..."

"Just one evening, Merlin," Arthur said. "Besides, I want some time with my wife."

"Oh," Merlin said, cheeks flaming. "Right!"

Carrying things back from the cart to Gaius' rooms, Merlin and Bri walked in silence. Gaius had gone in ahead of them. Unsure and tongue tied, Merlin stole side looks towards Bri's profile as she walked beside him and found her inscrutable as ever. Had she meant what she'd said when they parted in Caerleon, or did she want that forgotten? Should he have hugged and maybe kissed her earlier in the courtyard, like Gwaine said? Darn, Gwaine, perhaps he was right! Perhaps she now thought that he didn't really ...

"I can hear you thinking furiously Merlin," she teased stopping a few feet outside the door.

The light was dim in the hallway where they stood. Her face was half in shadow, but she looked good, so good. Merlin wished he could just stand there looking at her.

"I'm ... that is," Merlin tried without being able to put together a coherent thought.

"I really am glad you are back, Merlin," she said earnestly. "I may not have shown it, down in the courtyard with the others..."

"You thought you'd be too obvious?" he asked and she gave him a lopsided smile.

"Something like that."

"I don't mind obvious," he said and mentally kicked himself for saying something so stupid.

"Then I suppose you wouldn't mind this." And she leaned across the short distance between them and touched her lips to his. They were cool against his own and soft, and Merlin felt a bolt shoot right through him. He was so startled he just stood there stiffly.

"Or maybe you do mind?" she said, pulling back, looking unsure.

"Oh, no, I certainly do not." He dropped Gaius' medicine bags to the floor and put both his arms around her waist, drawing her close. She looked so surprised, so unguarded, that he felt his doubts and shyness evaporating. "I'm sorry, could you do that again? I'm not sure I understood your meaning." He grinned at her.

"I'd say you're a little thick if you didn't get that," she answered tartly, but she was smiling.

He kissed her properly then, and her arms came around his neck, and he was still kissing her when Gaius came out of his rooms and stopped short in his tracks.

"I said to bring the bags in, the both of you," Gaius exclaimed, "not drop them on the floor by the door!"

"Sorry Gaius," Merlin muttered sheepishly as he and Bri reluctantly broke apart. They picked up the dropped bags and rushed beyond him into his rooms.

Back in the hallway, Gaius chuckled quietly to himself.


	22. Epilogue

Merlin stepped quietly over the moss covered forest floor. He was disguised as Emrys, wearing the red, dragon crested robes of the court of Camelot sorcerer. He reached into his pocket and felt the two items there. One was the potion that turned him back into himself and the second, the second was the reason he was here. He ran his fingers along its surface then drew his hand away.

When he'd told Arthur he was going on this journey, Arthur had insisted on accompanying him, or at least sending him with an escort. They'd argued about it but Merlin eventually won. This was something he had to do alone. He'd left Camelot almost two weeks earlier. Now, almost at the end of his journey, Merlin admitted to himself how much he'd missed Arthur's company.

He smiled wistfully to himself. He missed home, missed Arthur and Gaius and the knights and most of all Bri. And if all went well, he'd be heading home to them soon. His hand closed over the object in his pocket.

A stone tower became visible through the trees. He'd found it. He was here. A low metal door was visible near its base. Merlin walked towards it. He unlocked the door with his magic and walked cautiously up the narrow curving stair that led to the top. The air was stale and musky. Shafts of sunlight spilled in through cracks in the outer stones, but no other light broke through.

The chamber at the top was poorly lit as well. Shelves lined the walls, covered in jars and herbs and boxes. A large cauldron stood in the middle of the room with a table and bench beside it and against the far wall, there was a small bed. He walked about the room, looking at the items collected there. He sat down wearily on the bench to wait. No one was home.

He didn't have to wait long. A light shuffling on the stair and then Morgana swept wearily into the room. He'd left visible signs of his presence, from the broken lock to doors left slightly ajar.

"I've been waiting for you," he told her.

"Emrys," she whispered, and her voice shook with anger and fear.

Merlin waved his hand and the door closed behind her.

"We have unfinished business to discuss," he told her.

She walked slowly along the wall.

"Have you come to try to kill me?"

"No," he answered simply. "I am here as a messenger. But first," he added, his hand slipping into his pocket, "no more games."

He uncorked the vial and drank its contents. Under Morgana's startled gaze, Merlin turned back into himself. She stopped in her tracks and gasped.

"Merlin! It was you." Her surprise soon gave over to anger and she smashed her fist across a row of pots that sat on a ledge beside her.

"It was," Merlin agreed. "Always." He stood and walked towards her. "I have watched you grow from a good soul into a foul creature, Morgana. I have regrets. I look back and I wonder if I had done things differently, would it have saved you from this?"

Morgana's face contorted with amusement. She laughed, and her laughter was humourless and jarring.

"You think too much of yourself, Emrys. You take too much credit. You are arrogant, just like my dear little brother. And I am going to make it my life's purpose to destroy you both." She reached for something behind her, and in that moment Merlin held his hand out and shouted a few words, his eyes glowing bright. The shelves behind Morgana exploded outward, all the items on them were thrown across the room in a shower of glass and splintered wood. Morgana shrieked with fury.

"You cannot threaten me anymore," she said, her voice rising, "I have grown too powerful, even for you."

"Perhaps. Or perhaps it is you who is arrogant," Merlin said. "But that is not why I've come." He reached into his pocket again and his hand closed around the second object. He drew it out and held it out towards her. "I was sent to give this to you."

In the palm of Merlin's hand lay a large golden disk, engraved with runes, the symbol of the Disir's judgment. Morgana's eyes widened and all the blood drained from her face, leaving her skin white as chalk.

"Impossible," she whispered, a hand coming up to her throat.

Merlin came to stand before her. He reached out with his other hand and she flinched, her eyes still on the disk. He took her right hand and turned it palm up so he could place the disk in it.

"You know what this is."

"Yes," she whispered, all fight gone out of her.

"Then be wise and heed it. It's not too late. This is goodbye, Morgana," he said and walked away.

...

Merlin reached Camelot four days later close to nightfall. He stabled his horse and shouldered his travel bag as quickly as he could and with eager steps he ran up to the throne room.

Court was still in session but the guards opened the doors for him and Merlin walked in. Seated on the throne Arthur was judging a case between two farmers. Gwenevere was seated beside him, and Sir Leon and Elyan were standing on either side of the dais. Onlookers and witnesses were lined up before the king. Merlin noticed Bri standing to the side, her back away from him, and he walked towards her.

He stepped quietly beside her, touching his shoulder to hers. He felt her jump and turn her head. Their eyes met. As composed as ever, she barely moved but her eyes went wide with joy and she grasped his hand in hers.

"Merlin, you're home," she whispered.

"I'm home. I've missed you."

She smiled wider and her hand squeezed his, their fingers entwining, but outwardly, they just stood shoulder to shoulder facing the court. A proper welcome would have to wait until later. Merlin grinned at the thought. He'd learned that Bri in private was nothing like Bri in public. It had been quite a revelation. He rubbed his thumb gently across her wrist and felt her shiver.

"That's it?" a voice said quietly behind them. Merlin turned his head and saw Gwaine standing there. "A little hand holding? As if I haven't seen you two all over each other when you think no one is looking!"

"Gwaine!" hissed Bri, turning red.

Gwaine chuckled and drew Merlin into a hug.

"Welcome home, Merlin!"

"It's good to be home, Gwaine."

From the sounds around them, court had been adjourned for the evening and people started walking out. Arthur stood up from the throne and came forward.

"Merlin!" he shouted. "What in the blazes took you so long?"

"You know," Merlin stalled, smiling, "this and that."

"You mean you were dawdling?"

"Dawdling? I never dawdle."

Arthur stopped an arm's length away, hands on his hips, and scoffed loudly. Guinevere walked around him, her arms held wide open towards Merlin.

"He missed you, Merlin," she said, against his shoulder as she embraced him, "dreadfully. And so did I."

"Please!" Arthur scoffed again. "I did nothing of the sort."

Leon and Elyan came and clapped Merlin on the back.

"Good to have you back, Merlin."

Merlin grinned at them all.

"So, you're going to tell me anything at all?" Arthur asked when the others had walked away. "About your trip? About Morgana?"

"I'll tell you everything."

They looked at each other in silence. Arthur put a hand on Merlin's shoulder.

"Perhaps I did miss you a little."

"Well, I certainly missed you," Merlin said. "No incessant and demanding prattle for over three weeks. 'Merlin, do this! Merlin, do that!' It was much too ... relaxing."

Arthur smacked him on the shoulder.

"Idiot."

"So, how's your new manservant?"

Arthur scrunched up his face and shrugged.

"He's learning the ropes. He's obviously not you. Not that you ever were a very competent manservant." He was silent for a while looking wistful. "It's the end of an era, Merlin."

Merlin mirrored Arthur's earlier gesture by placing his hand on his friend's shoulder.

"And the beginning of another," he said. "I'm finding it strange too. I have no more reason to hide."

"I am glad of that, Merlin. I really am." He frowned. "Do you think it worked?"

"You mean Morgana?"

Arthur nodded. Merlin shrugged, his eyes staring unseeing down the corridor behind Arthur.

"I don't know. All I know is that the judgment is passed and whatever she chooses to do, every circumstance will conspire against her. I know that from personal experience." He smiled, but his eyes were sad. "It will be her choice. And we'll be on our guard."

Arthur nodded.

"And besides, it's easier now," Merlin continued. "I have ... contacts."

"A veritable spy network of sorcerers," Arthur said not looking entirely pleased.

"Are you worried I'll slowly get corrupted and turn bad wizard against Camelot?"

Arthur scoffed.

"Please, don't be ridiculous, Merlin!" he exclaimed, and Merlin smiled at the oblique confession of trust. "I'm worried _I'm_ out of my depth, Merlin," he admitted reluctantly. "Bad guys with swords, I can handle. A growing network of sorcerers, not so much."

"You're not alone, Arthur. Don't forget that."

"I know, Merlin. I know."

They walked together in silence down the corridor.

"I'll go and let Gaius know I've returned and unpack my things."

Arthur stopped him.

"About that, Merlin. I've sent Gaius and Percival to a northern village where there's a rumour of a magical creature that petrifies anyone on sight. Now that you are back, I think we should follow them north. So, no need to unpack. We can leave in the morning."

"In the morning? I barely got back!"

"Aren't you looking forward to some glorious adventures?"

"I am looking forward to sleeping in my own bed."

"Running a kingdom is hard work, Merlin. Pack up! I'll see you at dinner."

Merlin sighed and watched Arthur disappear around the corner. He supposed there was no getting away from "glorious adventures" as Arthur put it, which really meant riding a horse all day and getting Arthur out of trouble.

He sighed and then grinned to himself. It was good to be home.

*The End*

* * *

**AN: Ta Da! All better! **  
**Thank you so much everyone who's come along for the journey. I've certainly had a great time writing this - I've de-traumatized myself post series finale. :D I've loved your comments, favourites & follows. You've encouraged me and made me laugh. I will miss Merlin and Arthur, but at least I know in my mind I've left them alive and well, off to their glorious adventures ... Whatever troubles they get into after this are not of my making! ;P**


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